


Love in Plain Sight

by CrescentDream24



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: F/M, Love, Mind Meld, Vulcan, Vulcan Culture, bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:21:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 40,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24299527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrescentDream24/pseuds/CrescentDream24
Summary: A Vulcan male and a human female, biologically different but inexplicably drawn to each other. The story of how they met and fell in love against all odds. "To fight for that which you truly believe in is inherently human". Sarek x Amanda.
Relationships: Amanda Grayson/Sarek
Comments: 10
Kudos: 111





	1. Chapter 1

Author: CrescentDream24 

Series: Star Trek TOS (could also be 2009 or any of the movies) 

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek or any of its characters 

References: Vulcan Language Dictionary (https://www.starbase-10.de/vld/)

_I hope you enjoy! Please_ _let me know what you think._

_Note: I wrote Amanda as a blonde, purely because that's how I always imagined her younger self to be from_ _The Original Series episode “Journey to Babel.” She is much older and has grey hair and blue eyes in that episode, and I just always pictured her as a blonde in her younger days for whatever reason. However, feel free to picture her as a brunette as she’s depicted in the re-boots!_

Osu: “sir” T’sai: “lady” 

**LOVE IN PLAIN SIGHT**

**CHAPTER 1**

Amanda Grayson sighed in frustration as she opened the large flap of the suitcase currently sitting on top of her bed. Packing had never been something she looked forward to. She would always worry that she never packed enough, so in would go countless outfits for every possible situation that could be flung her way. But eventually, she would convincer herself she had packed too much, causing her to unpack in a flurry of distress a few hours before departure, hastily throwing things onto the ground before giving up and accepting that she just might be overprepared. 

"Not this time", she muttered to herself as she slowly considered the plain, white tank top in her hand. To stay or to go? She had never been to California, but she imagined that the weather would be much the same as it was in her current home—with her parents in Baker City, Oregon. Currently in mid-August, the days were long and hot temperatures wrapped their hands around the little town a bit after mid-morning. And she certainly didn't want to be sweating during the biggest interview of her life. 

She placed the tank top neatly next to a pair of sensible, dark slacks. But, would she even wear it? A tank top was hardly formal enough for an interview with three of the most respected linguists on Earth. The only way she could possibly pull it off is if it were hiding under a jacket or another shirt. The tank top went back onto the bedspread. 

Pausing this current conundrum in her head were two raps of the knuckles on her bedroom door. Amanda turned her head to see her younger sister, Doris. Her wiry frame leaned casually against the open door, short dark hair in a ponytail. She was seventeen but acted all the world as if she were already twenty-one. 

"Hey sis. How's the packing going?" Doris eyed the impressive pile of clothes next to the suitcase, then the three items that had actually managed to squeak their way into it. One eyebrow cocked upward and she snapped the gum she was chewing. "Or, yeahknow...... lack thereof. " 

Amanda sighed again and flopped dejectedly onto the bedside, letting her body fall backwards into the duvet in defeat. "Ugh, Dori, I just can't do this right now. Packing is the last thing on my mind." 

One hand went up and combed through the ends of her long, blonde hair distractedly. "I just keep playing this interview over and over in my head. How can I possibly be qualified to teach Earth Standard on another planet, to teach an entire language to someone from scratch? How could I stand out enough against the other candidates? This is insanity." Now her hand was to her forehead, clutching it in vexed contemplation. 

Dori strolled in, slightly amused by her sisters pained expression. "Oh Amanda, come on. You were chosen to take part in this interview. There's gotta be something about you they like. They don’t pick just anyone by the sounds of it." She pushed the pile of clothes onto the floor and sat beside her sister. "You can't be afraid of success. You've worked so hard, you've studied so much. It's time you've reaped the benefits." 

Amanda glanced at her sister through her fingers as the palm of her hand rested on her forehead. "Ya think?" 

Doris shot her a meaningful look. "I know it." She looked at her reflection in the mirrored doors of her sister's closet across from them. 

"You know what you should do? Call David. Just hang out with him, that'll get your mind off things. You can continue this...", she sarcastically drew an exaggerated circle around the open suitcase with her index finger, "...later." 

Amanda pushed herself up onto her elbows. "Yeah, I guess you're right. No use worrying about it right now. I should call him." She reached over and grabbed her phone from her bedside table after flashing her sister a grateful smile. "What am I going to do without you to coach me through this interview on the actual day?!" 

Doris pushed her sister gently in the shoulder. "Die, I guess." She leapt up and grabbed at a flowy green summer dress that had slumped onto the carpet. "Hey can I wear this for my date tonight?" 

Amanda huffed out some air as she dialed David's number. "Why not. It'll give me one less thing to worry about packing." 

OOOOOO 

Amanda stared out into the thick, puffy clouds surrounding her view from the window seat of the hovercraft. It was just before dusk, so the rays of the sun shone down onto them, making lovely patterns of pink and purple. She could have chosen to use a transporter beam to get her to California instead, but she wanted to save all the money she could. If everything went as well as could be hoped, she'd need most of her savings to move out and relocate if she got accepted for this job. 

She remembered saying goodbye to David the other night, then to Dori at the house and her parents at the airport, and how they'd all wished her good luck. 

_Her father had pulled her in for a quick hug with one arm, not one for mushy goodbyes._ _“_ _Call us when you land, sweetie_ _,”_ _he mumbled into her hair._

_Her mother on the other hand, drew her into a hug as big as her arms would allow, holding onto her daughter’s body for dear life. "Be safe, my girl. You'll be gone for a whole_ _week,_ _I'll miss you so much! Please, please call us when you get in." She_ _finally_ _let her daughter go and held her at arm's length. "You'll be just wonderful, I know it.”_

_Amanda kissed_ _her_ _lovingly_ _on the cheek. "Thanks, mom."_

Thinking back, she had a love for language ever since she had started grade school. Her parents weren't exactly wealthy so she had been to public schools all her life. One afternoon during the second grade, she had come home to her parents and emphatically asked them to teach her how to speak Andorian. There had been an Andorian female in her class that day, of an adopted family, with soft blue skin as bright as the sky and two delicate antennae protruding from her head between locks of shiny silver hair. 

Amanda, in all her childhood innocence, had been so incredibly taken aback by this student. She was different, but in a fascinating way. Her classmates however, took little notice of the girl and no one seemed to try and make friends. Amanda wanted nothing more than to strike up a conversation with her. But her efforts to convey her good will were squandered; the little Andorian girl had not yet learned Earth Standard, and worked with a translator to help her through her studies. 

Ever since then Amanda held a thirst for language, and in her later years took every university class she could get her hands on concerning intergalactic culture as well as majoring in linguistics. She chose to take the educational route rather than the Starfleet route early on in her endeavors. Sure, she probably could have worked to become a communications officer, but that required additional years of Starfleet training, and she wasn't sure she was cut out for life shut up on a starship in the inky blackness of space. 

She was exhausted but so proud when she finally graduated after six years with her Master's degree. Shortly after this achievement, she had settled into a teaching position at the university, working underneath another professor. At twenty-seven years old, she thought she was doing well for herself, but she always wanted more. The teaching position was good, and she was sharing her knowledge of language with others, but she really wanted to step outside of the shell of the university and experience an entirely different lifestyle. Perhaps on another planet altogether. Living with her parents had drastically kept her costs down during her schooling, but she was certainly ready to live on her own. 

So, when her professor came to her a few weeks ago with an opportunity to meet with not just one, but three of the most well-known linguists on Earth, Amanda had been flabbergasted. 

_"But, why are they meeting? Who are they looking for?" Amanda had dropped the PADD containing_ _the_ _essay she had been grading on the desk in front of her. Her professor, Mr._ _Withim_ _, told her they had wanted to choose three people to spearhead a pilot project the Federation had recently started up. It was bent on creating more understanding and good-will_ _between_ _worlds who otherwise had little business or contact with Earth. By bringing them more knowledge of Earth Standard, they hoped peace talks and other embassy meetings would go smoother._ _In essence, it was an olive branch to improve neutral-at- best interplanetary relations with certain planets that Earth held high value in trading with._

_"That's all well and good", Amanda had stood up and crossed her arms. "But what makes you think I'm qualified to take on something like this? Let alone work for the Federation? Why in God’s name would they even pick me?"_

_Her professor had looked at her straight on, and_ _answered_ _unwaveringly_ _._ _"Because I gave them my highest recommendation of you"._

She spoke fluent Andorian, as well as Klingon. Her Vulcan was coming along but it was not as refined as she wanted it to be. It was hard to find knowledge on certain parts of the Vulcan culture, nevermind their language. She hoped one day to travel to the planet itself and experience their way of life firsthand. Everything she had learned about their culture intrigued her in a way she couldn't explain. They were so emotionless, almost secretive in the way they went about things, but held a grace and beauty about them that was almost ethereal. 

She snapped out of her reverie as the hologram of a flight attendant at the front of the hovercraft addressed everyone on board. "Welcome to San Francisco, everyone. Please exit the craft in an orderly fashion." 


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

Sarek strode down a brightly lit corridor of the Earth Vulcan Embassy, making his way back to his office from one of the large convention halls he had just emerged from. Talks had concluded at a diplomatic meeting with one of the high-ranking officials of the planet Kesprytt III. The representative council of the Earth-like world had put forth a proposal concerning their continued internal conflict between the Kes and the Prytt nations. They had tried to sheath their proposal as an innocent inquiry, but Sarek was a seasoned diplomat, and saw the proposal for what it was; a call for the Federation to choose sides. 

Sensing feelings weakly akin to frustration and annoyance, Sarek quickly assessed his mental state from within and willed these sensations to recede back into his subconscious mind. Vulcans did not feel annoyance or frustration. The talks had taken up considerable time, and the goal of the visiting council was not as innocent it had first seemed, but there was no reason to think irrationally. 

He felt the swish of the automatic door opening to his office before he registered it visually, lost in thought. Dark robes swirled at his feet as he paced over to his desk, looking regal in its place toward the back of the room. The tall window beside it let rays of sunlight hit the deep, rich brown of the mahogany desktop. Currently, it had various documents and colorful data chips adorning its surface, and a soft beeping arose from the comm unit sitting at one end of the desk. 

Sarek hit the answer button with a microscopic hint of aggravation in his gesture. “This is Sarek.” 

The secretary’s voice filled the room. “There is a female named T’Amar here to see you.” 

“Very well, send her in.” Sarek closed the communication. Again, he felt a sensation close to the human emotion of annoyance creep back up into his consciousness. He repressed it swiftly. 

The woman called T’Amar was an important part of the committee known as the Ba’tak; a branch of the Vulcan High Counsel entrusted with protecting and preserving the tradition of Vulcan above all else. However, this meant much of their business dealt with the Federation itself, as Vulcan was experiencing a sort of transition period in its history. Never before had Vulcan and Earth shared such a neutral existence together --one could even go as far as to say “alliance”-- as it did now. However, this new “friendship” was still on very new legs. And Sarek had found that whenever he was faced with a meeting from T’Amar, it usually signaled the beginnings of a new problem for him, one that would require significant effort on his part to resolve. Today would be no different. 

The doors to his office sliced open once again, but it was not the figure Sarek had expected to see. It was the slender frame of his assistant, Troon-arr Delvok. He had recently graduated from the Vulcan School of Diplomacy a few Earth months ago and was working under Sarek here at the Earth Vulcan Embassy to gain valuable insight and experience in the profession. 

Delvok stepped over the threshold of the room but stayed close to the door. His face held the slightest hint of uncertainty, as much as any Vulcan would dare to allow. “I regret to intrude, Osu. I was unaware of T’Amar’s wish to hold your company today. She did not place a call and make an appointment beforehand. Otherwise---” 

Sarek made a dismissive motion with his hand. “It is of no consequence, Delvok. Rest assured she would have made her way to me even if my appointment book were full.” 

Delvok’s eyes held slight amusement. “Very well, Osu. I will continue to try and re-schedule your meeting with Federation Officer Barns in the meantime.” Sarek nodded his head towards his assistant. “Acceptable”. 

As Delvok turned to vacate the room, the doors pulled open to reveal an elder Vulcan woman shrouded in robes of dark blue. Her eyes were as hard and icy as if they had been chipped off the moons of the Centari star system. She pointed them towards Delvok. “Excuse me.” Her measured words matched her eyes in their temperature. 

Delvok swiftly shuffled to the side and slid his way through the doorway, turning the corner to his left and out of T’Amar’s piercing gaze. 

The elder Vulcan woman gracefully stepped into the room and regarded Sarek, holding her hands folded in front of her. Her head was draped with a navy-blue head-scarf that covered her pointed ears but he could see small strands of salt-and-pepper hair that had escaped her severe and intricate hairstyle. Her facial features were prominent but elegant, even in her advanced age. And endlessly intimidating. 

Sarek had known T’Amar since his childhood years. He was a descendant of the House of Surak, the most notable and culturally significant family on Vulcan. This meant a constant close watch by the Vulcan High Counsel through the eyes of the Ba’tak. Every important decision he had ever made in his entire life was first discussed at length through the counsel. Her eyes were still as piercing as he remembered them to be. And currently, they were burning a hole right through him. Sarek was reminded of the meaning of her name; _lady of the double-edged sword_. 

T’Amar’s voice cut through the silence. “I have important business to discuss with you.” 

Sarek’s gaze moved toward one of the chairs across from his desk. “Please seek comfort, first.” He sat himself in his own desk chair and placed his hands in front of him on the desk, preparing for a lengthy conversation. 

She sat herself stiffly on the edge of one of the chairs closest to her and folded her hands in her lap. They conversed at length about some of the current events concerning Vulcan, and once this topic was exhausted, T’Amar vocalized the main reason she had sought his company. 

“The Federation has launched a new communications project. Have you been notified of its existence?” He could tell by her tone that whatever this project was, she was already set against it. 

“No, I have not.” he stated. 

Her gaze settled on the window by the desk. “They are gathering multiple linguists and communication specialists together into a committee, whereby they will select suitable candidates to travel to distant worlds, in hopes of establishing better contact between their communities and the Federation itself. Their strategy is to implement teachings of the Earth Standard language, hoping this will make it commonplace within the alien society they are assigned to.” She paused at this and glanced towards Sarek. “Vulcan has been chosen as one of the host worlds.” 

Sarek inclined his head towards her. “I see. I believe that would help strengthen communication between both worlds in question. Most Vulcans hold a basic understanding of Earth Standard, but not of its more involved intricacies. This mission would prove useful.” 

T’Amar came as close as a Vulcan could to scoffing. “Unlike you, I do not view this as a positive development. Vulcan custom must be upheld. This is not to say other cultures are not welcome. However, the teaching of other cultures within the Vulcan environment stands to erode the foundation that our society has been built upon since the Awakening.” 

“From the information you have given, I do not believe teachings of Earth culture would be included along with the teaching of Earth Standard.” 

She shifted in her seat. “Doesn’t one precede the other?” 

“Have you so little faith in Vulcan society, believing one linguist will set a path for destruction through our very way of life?” 

“It is not one linguist I hold concern with. It is what would be to follow. Soon, the Federation would send out an entire committee, then a small settlement. Vulcans would listen to their teachings because of our innate thirst for knowledge. And very slowly, changes would become apparent. Most Vulcans may possess the ability to suppress these changes, but the radicals would not take them in stride.” 

Sarek sat silently, letting her words wash over him. “I respect your concern, T’Amar. If you wish, I could keep you appraised on the project to the best of my knowledge. I also hold the importance of Vulcan way of life in the highest regard and will work to see it is upheld.” 

They were quiet for a time. Eventually, T’Amar rose slowly out of her seat and seemed to be at relative peace with the decision. “For now, this is agreeable. I will keep you from your duties no longer.” She extended one hand in the Vulcan salute. “Live long and prosper, Sarek.” 

Sarek returned the gesture. “Peace and long life, T’Amar”. 


	3. Chapter 3

** CHAPTER 3  **

"Well, this is quite nice.”

Amanda wheeled her suitcase into her hotel room. The linguist committee had informed all the candidates their costs for lodging to attend the interview would graciously be covered by the Federation Embassy. She hadn't known what to expect out of the hotel exactly, but she was thus far pleasantly surprised. 

One large queen-sized bed stood before her, topped with various large, plushy pillows. A PADD sat on an oak desk in one corner of the room, a TV screen in the wall of the other. Big windows gave her a beautiful, panoramic view of the city, which made her smile the instant she laid eyes on them. Travelling was fun. 

After unpacking, she used her PADD to video call her parents and assure them she had arrived in one piece. When she was through saying her goodbyes, she plopped onto the bed fresh with crisp linens and sunk into the cushy pillows, scanning a pamphlet she had snatched from her dresser. It held all the information she needed to know about her upcoming interview the next day. 

It was to be held in the United Linguists of America building at ten AM. She quickly scanned the list of interviewers for names she recognized.  _ Dr. Spalding, head of the Linguist Department for the Federation Earth Embassy. Mrs. Sinclair, coordinator of the Federation project (and a respected linguist herself). Mr. Cho, Director of Communications for Starfleet. _ Amanda balked inwardly at this impressive list of names.  _ No pressure there! _

The interview was to last at least an hour per candidate, then afterward all candidates were invited to a luncheon in the main hall, and would have to await the committee's decision a few days afterward. There would be three chosen candidates altogether, and each would be sent to a different planet for an undetermined amount of time to work within the community and promote understanding of the English language. Amanda sighed dejectedly and she let the pamphlet flutter onto her abdomen, a nervous knot forming in the depths of her stomach.  _ What can I say that will set me apart from the others? Just how many candidates are we talking about here?  _

After a few minutes of nervous contemplation, Amanda suddenly sat upright and the pamphlet tumbled to the floor. "Well, I can't just sit here and build up more anxiety , " she stated to the empty room. She stared ahead at the bare wall facing her and decided to go out into the world and explore her surroundings, hoping that would get her mind off things.  _ But, where to go? _

She scanned the room around her and found a slim binder on the bedside table nearest her. She eagerly grabbed it and scanned through its contents. There was a page entitled " _ Things  _ _ To _ _ Experience _ " and she quickly skimmed its contents.  _ Hmm, romantic dinners for two, movie theater experience for two, carnival midway coupons for TWO.......oh, here we are. San Francisco Bay Ferry. That sounds fun, I love the water.  _

Amanda took a quick picture of the page with her PADD so she could save the address and changed into a more boat friendly outfit. After scanning her options in  her suitcase , she decided on a light, flowy blouse with short scalloped sleeves and clean white shorts with a beige belt. She slid a simple gold chain around her wrist and pulled half of her long, blonde hair up into a clip. Brushing her bangs forward she added on some lip chap, then slid into a comfy pair of sandals. 

She felt a small pang of guilt as she did so, remembering when  David bought those sandals for her at a flea market. He hadn’t exactly been enamored with the fact that she was going to be gone for an entire week. He had wanted to spend some more time with her since she had been so busy at the university recently. But he said he supported her anyway, and hoped everything went well.

"I'll make it up to him when I get back ,” Amanda resolved to the empty room as she grabbed her purse and her room card, shutting the door behind her. 

OOOOO

It had been awhile since Amanda had been on a boat. She loved everything about it; the cool ocean breeze, salty sprays of water every now and then, the gentle rhythm of the boat riding the small crests and valleys of the waves and ripples. And something about the smell, just the smell of the water  itself  was a soothing balm  to her soul.

The ferry was quite crowded today, so she had found a small area on the deck by the railing where she had some space to herself. Children mulled around the groups of people, some trying to stick their hands in the water. Adults stood together watching the antics of their children, others just lounging on chairs and enjoying the sun's rays. The gentle hum of conversation mixed with the boat's engine was almost hypnotic. 

Usually she was a very sociable creature, but she didn't know a single person on this boat, let alone in this entire state, so her outgoing personality was slightly dampened. Plus, the hovercraft ride had tapped most of her energy, so she was perfectly content with being alone with her thoughts. She gripped the white railing in front of her and leaned out slightly, letting the view of the ocean and the other boats lazily pass by her. There was a dock off in the distance, and she could see a little boy sitting on its edge, legs dangling and fishing rod extended. He was reeling vigorously and finally, a shiny slip of a fish rose up out of the water on the end of his line. The boy jumped up with glee and admired his catch. Amanda smiled. 

She sensed a sudden presence beside her, but didn't look over. The boat was crowded so she had expected someone else to take up the space on her right eventually. She let her hands fall from the railing as she took a deep breath in while closing her eyes, relishing in the salty ocean smell and feeling the boat slow down gradually. 

Suddenly, the boat accelerated again and gave a sudden jerk forward. Amanda's eyes snapped open and her body swayed to her right. She almost lost her balance and her hands shot out to grip the railing again. Her right hand closed on top of a hand of the person standing beside her, who was also now holding onto the rail. She gave a small squeak and withdrew her hand, looking up quickly to apologize to the stranger. Her eyes took in a tall figure with broad shoulders under a long, flowing robe. His hair was as dark as the night, and his eyebrows were elegantly upswept. His ears came to delicate points and complimented the eyebrows in an unexplainable way. Amanda wasn't expecting to see such a sight. 

And his eyes, dark and still, were pointed directly at her. 

_ A Vulcan! _ "Oh, I'm...so sorry. I just ...l-lost my balance there." Amanda stammered.  _ So much for being a language specialist. _ She held her hands up close to her chest, making certain they wouldn't accidently touch this stranger again. His face held no expression, and one hand still clasped the railing. 

"Do not apologize. It is of no consequence." His deep, monotonous voice matched his brooding appearance. Amanda held her breath while he looked at her, as if she were waiting for him to give her permission to breathe. 

And as quickly as they had met, he turned and was gone into the crowd, slowly making his way to the other end of the boat deck, making sure not to rub shoulders with anyone as he passed. Amanda let out the breath she didn't even realize she'd been holding.  _ Wow, a Vulcan in San Francisco? I don't know why, but I never pictured them living here.  _ Her eyes followed his back until she could no longer see him _. What an intimidating figure.  _

She slowly turned and directed her gaze back out toward the water.  _ Well, if I want to work on another world, I better get used to being around alien beings! _ She couldn't believe she had acted so awestruck.  _ Must be the jet lag.  _


	4. Chapter 4

** CHAPTER 4 **

The morning of her interview brought along with it a deep feeling of dread. As soon as she heard the chirping of her alarm, a ball of nerves knotted itself in the pit of her stomach. She hadn't realized how much she had wanted this opportunity until now. 

"Okay, OKAYY!", she moaned at her alarm as she switched it off. She had planned out her outfit the night before so there would be nothing to worry about this morning. After a warm, comforting shower she slipped into a light grey blazer and matching pencil skirt, with a light blouse underneath. Sheer stockings and sensible heels completed the effect. She twisted her hair into a business-like chignon and admired her work in the full-length mirror beside her dresser. She had never thought herself a great beauty, and she knew her looks were quite average. But she felt confident in this outfit. Her blue eyes really were enhanced by the light grey of the suit. She smiled at her reflection. "Knock 'em dead!"

Soon after a short hover-cab ride, she was standing in front of the doors to the United Linguists of America building. She looked around and saw no one else arriving or milling around outside.  _ Oh god, am I late? _ She quickly checked her slender wrist-watch while her heart started hammering away in her chest erratically. 

The clock face read 9:39am.  _ Oh, thank god.  _ Her heart started to slow back down.  _ Get a grip, Grayson.  _

After taking a few deep breaths, she walked up the steps and made her way inside the building. 

OOOOO

It was a little after 10:30am. Amanda had been patiently waiting for her turn in the waiting area. There were at least  twenty people in the room with her. She hadn't realized there would be so many other applicants. She pretended to casually scan the screen of her PADD in her lap, while secretly eying up  the competition around her. A woman sitting across from her was doing the exact same thing; their eyes locked on each other and the other woman gave a small smile and chuckled. 

"Are you as nervous as I am?", the woman whispered as she tilted her head towards Amanda. Her bright red hair fell in tight ringlets down her back. She was wearing a tan pant - suit that made her look very professional. Small freckles were sprinkled across her nose. Amanda felt herself relaxing. 

"Oh, probably ten times more, I'm sure , " she replied. "I didn't realize how many people would be here, honestly . " She leaned forward and outstretched a hand. "I'm Amanda, by the way. Amanda Grayson." 

The woman grasped Amanda's hand with her own and shook it firmly . "Allison Marks, pleased to meet you." She let her PADD drop into her lap. "Don't worry, I had no idea what to expect either. All I heard was the entire panel doesn't interview you all at once, each panelist has a separate room.” She raised her eyebrows warily. “I hope I don't get Dr. Spalding, I think he's rather intimidating."

Amanda swallowed and touched the slight, gold chain around her neck. "Yikes. I just hope I don't say anything stupid. I don't want this trip to be a waste." 

Allison nodded and pushed a stray ringlet from her face. "Hey, don't worry, girl. You'll be great! I wonder what worlds are part of the project.....do you have a planet in mind? One you've always wanted to go to?"

The words were out even before Amanda registered them in her mind. "Vulcan seems interesting". The memory of her encounter on the boat appeared in her mind's eye. 

Allison gave a small gasp. "Oh my, really? That is too CRAZY for me. There's no way I could hide my expressions or my thoughts, and just live in a vail of secrecy. But hey, I bet it would be pretty exotic!” She lowered her voice. “And those Vulcan’s are touch telepaths you know. I bet they’d be great in the sack.” She wiggled her eyebrows and Amanda stifled a giggle. 

Allison thumbed the material of her pant leg absentmindedly and continued. “Myself, I’d prefer somewhere more exciting.....somewhere where the people are energetic, brimming with culture, and where they really know how to throw a party!" 

Suddenly a smartly dressed older woman stepped into the waiting area and called out a name they didn't recognize. A tall brunette stood up and followed the lady into one of the interview rooms. Amanda let out a sigh of relief and Allison gave a devilish grin. "Now, who do you suppose got here just because their daddy's rich?" 

OOOOO

The next week felt like an eternity for Amanda. Her interview process was complete, and she was now back in the comfort of her parent’s home, eagerly awaiting news about her fate. She had sat with her family and analyzed every detail of her interviews. For the most part, she had felt like she’d done well. She had tried to answer the panelist’s questions with honesty and insight. It was difficult to judge how these answers stacked up to those of her competitors, however. 

The most intimidating one of the three interviewers had definitely been Dr. Spalding. He was an older man with a balding head of silver hair, large nose, and glasses. His body was hunched over the desk separating interviewer and interviewee, and it gave him the appearance of permanent disapproval, serving to heighten Amanda’s tension. 

All the other questions she’d had to answer that day from the other interviewers had been along the lines of her credentials, references, and past pursuits. But his first question had caught her by surprise. 

“Why are you here?” his voice was a stark contrast to the silence of the room.

Amanda blinked. “Well.......I thought this would be the opportunity of a lifetime.” she said, cautiously testing the water. 

Dr. Spalding stared back at her, revealing nothing. “What is your biggest goal in life?” 

She sat up a bit straighter. “To try and impart knowledge of language to other worlds, to better help their understanding of each other.” 

“To  _ try _ ......?” he said, quoting her last statement. “Or to succeed?”

Amanda squared her jaw. “To succeed.” 

She had replayed the entirety of that interview in her mind a million times, unsure of how she felt about it.  But, her musings were interrupted one morning when she grabbed her PADD to check her incoming messages. She sat in one of her parents comfy living room chairs covered in afghans and settled in to scroll through her inbox. 

Soon, her eyes widened and her PADD hit the carpet as she leapt up to her feet. “THEY PICKED ME!”

OOOOO

“I just don’t understand why you have to  _ live _ there, Manda.”

“Well.... David ....it’s kinda part of the whole project. I can’t help their culture learn about Earth if I’m not  _ physically _ there.”

“But for a whole year? Do you know how much could happen between then and now?”

“I’ve been working towards something like this for years. There’s no way I could pass it up!” 

Amanda and  David sat in the living room of his one-bedroom apartment. It had been a few hours since she’d broke the news to him and he still wasn’t warming to the idea. He raked his dark hair out of his eyes and sighed. “I get it.” he said curtly. “It doesn’t mean I like it.” 

She gave out a sigh of her own and stood up, pacing in front of him. “I don’t understand why this is such a shock to you. I told you I was applying months ago, I told you all about my interviews. Didn’t you consider me getting chosen as a possibility?” She stopped pacing and faced him. “Aren’t you happy for me?” Her eyes were starting to get wet with frustration.

He stood up too and put his hands on her shoulders to hold her in place. “Of course, I’m happy for you , ” he said in a gentler tone. “ But, this means you’re going to have to move away. For an entire year. And not just across country ..... off planet!” 

Amanda looked down at her sock feet. “I know Vulcan is far away,” she said as she moved one foot back and forth across the carpet. “But it’s only for a year. I’ll call you every night and we can tell each other everything.” 

When she heard that not only had she been chosen for the linguist project, but that she had been assigned to Vulcan as well, feelings of exhilaration and intimidation presented themselves at the same time. Amanda didn’t know exactly what drew her to that planet, but she knew it had been her first choice from the get-go. And she also knew the culture shock would be severe. 

Her eyes met his. “And I can visit on all my holidays. We can video-call all the time, I’ll even write you hand-written letters! We have to make this work. This is my dream........” she trailed off and her gaze rested on the sliding balcony doors behind him. “When I called Allison, she was nothing but thrilled for me.” She had bumped into the fiery red-head again after her last interview had ended. The women had exchanged numbers and promised to keep in touch. After Amanda had told about her good news, Allison extended heart-felt congratulations and revealed she had been chosen as well. 

David  exhaled and dropped his hands. “I know this is what you’ve been working for. God, I remember those countless nights you studied until three in the morning. But, Manda. We’ve been together for four years now. I was kind of hoping we could start our lives together....maybe get married....maybe do the kids thing...” 

Amanda rolled her eyes. “What lukewarm sentiment.” 

He shot her a terse look. “You know what I mean. If you leave......I’m going to have to wait for you.”

Her eyes grew larger and she threw up her hands. “YES! Yes, you  _ will _ have to wait for me. I’m sorry this is so inconvenient for you. I’m sorry we have to push pause on our lives momentarily so I can live out a dream I’ve had since I was a little kid. How selfish of me! I better stay and wait around here so we can start “maybe” having kids!”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it. You choosing this over our relationship is just a hard thing for me to accept right now.” 

Amanda tilted her head up toward the ceiling in an effort to drain tears that were threatening to spill over, then looked back at him. “Do you want us to just end this thing now so it’ll be easier for you?” 

David  quickly set his hands on her shoulders again. “No. Amanda, no. Come on. I want to be with you. We’ll make this work.” He paused. “I guess we’ll both just have to work at it. And it’s only a year, we can do that. Then after this is all out of your system we can go back to our real lives.” He brought her into his arms and embraced her. “I don’t want to lose you,” he muttered into her hair. 

She hugged him back and wished she felt the same resolve. “Me neither.” 


	5. Chapter 5

** CHAPTER 5 **

The early morning sun gleamed across the polished concrete steps that led up to the Earth Vulcan Embassy as Amanda made her way into the building. Her eyes marveled at the simple yet stately architecture as she passed through the huge main doors, following the back of the woman that would be her liaison for this project.

Amanda had just met her briefly a few hours ago, and had two distinct reactions to that meeting; this middle-aged woman was  _ excessivel _ y loud, and had enough positive energy radiating off of her that she could probably propel an entire starship into warp-speed single-handedly. Her name was Marylin LeClerke, with raven colored hair that ended bluntly at her shoulders, glasses a bright shade of magenta, and a laugh that would carry down multiple flights of stairs. 

She was the last person Amanda would picture in a Vulcan Embassy. 

“Well, now! Here we are, the hallowed halls of the Embassy. Isn't it wonderful in here?” Marilyn’s voice reverberated off the walls, almost sacrilegious against their subdued surroundings. The two women came to a stop in the middle of a polished entrance hall. She handed Amanda a small data chip. “I’ve uploaded all my information into this. If you ever have any questions while on your trip, or need any advice, I'll be here to help! There’s also a bunch of guidelines and government policy mumbo-jumbo on there too.” 

At least she was friendly. Amanda gave a smile and palmed the chip. “Thank you.”

“Now then,” Marilyn’s head swerved side to side slowly to survey the hall. “We’re supposed to be meeting up with the group of Vulcan Embassy members that you’ll be working with during your year on the planet. I believe they said to wait in Conference Room 3.” She ventured down one of the hallways to the left. Amanda hesitantly eyed the reception desk that sat in the middle of the building. “Should we check in first and let them know we’ve arrived?” If she knew one thing, Vulcans always adhered to protocol. 

She could hear Marilyn’s dismissive snort echo from down the hall. “It’s fine! Come’on this way.” Amanda sighed softly and followed reluctantly behind her. Even the sound of Marylin’s heels clicking down the hall seemed offensive. They stopped in front of a door that bared the number they were looking for. To Amanda’s horror, Marilyn strode right through the automatic doors without announcing their presence by ringing the doorbell on the keypad. Inside the medium-sized room was a large circular meeting table that was able to sit at least twenty. The walls were bare of decoration but it didn’t feel empty, just simplistic. Four Vulcans wearing dark robes sat near one side of the table, obviously mid-conversation. All stopped mid-sentence and turned to gaze at them in silence. 

Amanda sensed heat slowly build up in her cheeks and felt like covering her face. This was not the first impression she had wanted to make. She had agonized over her outfit for days before this meeting, hoping she wouldn’t offend anyone by being too revealing for Vulcan standards. She had finally settled on dark slacks, a muted maroon button-up blouse with her favorite small gold chain around her neck. The sides of her hair were pinned up and she had gone easy on the make-up. She had rehearsed her Vulcan greetings and brushed up on proper etiquette. Amanda was confident that any embarrassing situation she could possibly encounter would be avoided.

She did not foresee this particular development, however. 

“Hellooo there, everyone!” Marilyn boomed from Amanda’s left, smiling like an idiot. “I’ve brought the newest addition to the team. This gal to my right is Amanda Grayson.” She made a sweeping hand gesture. “And these, Amanda, are your new team leaders.” Amanda’s eyes went back to the group, trying not to roll them in annoyance. It was then that she saw him. The Vulcan from the boat. 

He looked exactly how she remembered him. Dark and intimidating, in long flowing robes. Stoic and composed, like the stillness of a river on a windless day. And again, his eyes were boring directly into hers. 

She swallowed and wished she were somewhere else. 

A few seconds of silence went by that felt like an eternity for Amanda, then all the Vulcans stood up from their chairs to receive their guests. The one from the boat came to stand in front of her and Marilyn, holding his hands folded in front of him. “I was not aware that you had arrived.” His rich voice held a neutral tone, not colored by any sign of annoyance at this intrusion , and it made small shivers prick their way up Amanda’s back. 

He continued. “Nevertheless, I am Sarek, Vulcan Ambassador to the Federation. I extend our welcome to you.” His words were for both of them, but his gaze settled on Amanda. “T'nar pak sorat y'rani”. He welcomed her in his native tongue. She wanted to smile but held the impulse in check.  _ Of course, he was Sarek! _ She couldn’t believe she didn’t recognize him from the holograms she had seen of him before. “T'nar jaral, Ambassador.”  _ Thank you _ . 

Marilyn pasted on a large smile, unaware of the Vulcan being spoken. “Thanks! Great to be here.” She outstretched a hand towards him, expecting a handshake. Amanda’s eyes widened in horror at her obvious obliviousness. She sensed Sarek shift his weight ever so slightly. “I believe,” Amanda ventured gently, “Vulcans prefer not to shake hands. They greet with words instead.” 

Sarek inclined his head briefly towards her. “This is correct. I intend no offence by declining.” Marilyn took it in stride and relaxed her hand. “Ah, well! Look at me, I’m learning things already.” 

Sarek turned slightly to acknowledge the rest of the team members standing solemnly behind him. “These are the members who have been assigned to the linguistics project. Two of them will be working with you individually for a portion of your stay, Miss Grayson.” 

Two Vulcans stepped forward. “This is N’Veyan and Tu’Pari. They will each do their parts to guide you in the ways of Vulcan life.” Both of them stood regally, wearing robes akin to Sarek. N’Veyan had a more severe look to him, even for a Vulcan, with a slightly receding hairline and a sharp angle to his jaw and eyebrows. Tu’Pari seemed the complete opposite, with her long dark hair softly woven into an intricately braided updo. Even with her blank expression, she held a certain softness and grace to her presence that seemed comforting to Amanda. 

Sarek gestured slightly to the remaining Vulcan who stepped forward to join the others. “The third is my assistant, Delvok.” This Vulcan she could tell was younger, and seemed to have a more open face that was constantly turned to Sarek’s direction, as if looking for approval. He was the tallest Vulcan of the group, and Amanda imaged that her standing directly next to him would look quite laughable. 

Amanda regarded them all standing before her. “I am pleased to meet all of you. I hope I can bring valuable knowledge to your community. I know you will all have much to teach me and I am eager to learn.”  Tu’Pari inclined her hand to the table beside them. “Sit with us and we will discuss the specifics of your journey , Miss Grayson .” 

Marilyn stepped forward eagerly. “Wonderful, my feet are absolutely  _ killing _ me. They say “beauty is pain”, and boy, they aren’t lying!” Amanda saw  Tu’Pari shoot a quick glance at Sarek in what appeared to be slight bemusement as they all made their way to the table. The group situated themselves around in a circle; Marilyn sat directly beside Sarek, and he sat directly across from Amanda. For some reason, she felt almost uneasy being directly in his line of sight, as if she were overexposed. 

The group soon fell into discussion about how Amanda would arrive on Vulcan, where she would be staying, and what to expect during her first month. It sounded like she would start by teaching Earth Standard within a classroom environment of children , and if all went well, she could possibly expand the depth of her teachings to larger lecture halls. Every once in a while, Marilyn would interject with some random comment or anecdote that had very little relevance to the current topic. During a particularly spirited re-telling of her recent trip to Arizona (“I bet it’s even hotter than Vulcan in the dead of summer!”) punctuated by large sweeping hand gestures to illustrate her points, Amanda’s gaze met Sarek’s for a brief moment. She knew it was impossible for him to hear her thoughts from across the table, but she couldn’t help that her mind kept repeating the word “ _ Sorry _ ” as she looked at him. She quickly glanced back down toward the tabletop, but was still acutely aware of his eyes on her. 

Finally, the meeting concluded and the party stood up to leave. Marilyn rose beside her and shook her hand. “Well, it was great to meet you, darling Amanda. You will most definitely have success this year. I must go now and prepare the paperwork for your journey. Keep me updated!” She turned and addressed the rest of the group. “It was  _ so _ great to meet you all. One day I hope to visit your home world in person!” She gave a casual wave and left the room, the clicking of her heels echoing down the hallway. Amanda felt like a storm had just passed. 

She faced the others and felt she owed them an explanation. “Marilyn is not educated in the ways of Vulcan,” she began, slowly. “I hope you did not view her attitude as reflective of all Human people.” 

Tu’Pari adjusted the sleeve of her robe. “She was.....most interesting.” Her tone held a hint of mirth. N’Veyan remained silent. Delvok inclined his head towards her. “I have encountered worse displays than this.” His deep voice was comforting. 

Sarek folded his hands once again. “I am satisfied that we could meet and discuss the details of your trip , Miss Grayson . As we stated before, I will meet your shuttle outside the city of  ShiKahr in two Earth days. There, we will discuss your living arrangements.” 

_ He must think all Humans are emotionally expressive loud mouths. _ Amanda nodded her head. “That would be most helpful.” The three other Vulcan members bid their goodbyes and slowly filed out of the conference room. Amanda met Sarek at the doorway and turned to bid farewell just as the others had left. 

“I am truly honored to be invited into your culture this way.” She hoped he could sense her sincerity. Sarek inclined his head. “Vulcan is interested in peace between all nations. Improving communication builds a strong foundation of political friendship. Humans that respect our ways of life are always welcome.” He lifted an eyebrow pointedly and continued. “However, I believe the female that accompanied you today will not be pursued to fulfill her wish of visiting our planet with any great haste.” 

Amanda let a miniscule smile escape. “That decision is very wise.” 

He raised his left hand in the Vulcan gesture. “Live long and prosper, Miss Grayson.” 

She matched his hand gesture effortlessly. “Peace and long life, Ambassador.”


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6**

The view of the dusty red planet gradually grew larger in the circular window beside Amanda’s seat in the shuttle craft. She was surprised she didn’t vibrate out of her chair and into the aisle from sheer excitement and nerves alone. This was her first time ever leaving Earth, and she had no idea what to expect. There had been a few tense moments to ride out as the craft first rocketed into orbit, but overall she had handled the trip quite well so far. She had marveled at all the passing stars and stared out into the inky blackness of space for hours, and was finally being rewarded with her first sight of Vulcan. It shone like a beacon against the dramatic black backdrop of space, a shiny red ruby laid against a cut of ebony cloth. 

Soon, the shuttle touched down effortlessly on a small landing pad, just outside of Vulcan’s main city of ShiKahr, kicking up clouds of orange dust. After the exit steps were fully deployed, Amanda shielded her eyes from the intense sunlight as she stepped out onto her first contact with foreign soil, feeling goosebumps travel up her arms as she did so. Her eyes couldn’t soak in the surroundings fast enough and she scanned the horizon again and again, amazed at where she was. 

As the dust settled, the form of the Ambassador became clear to her. She made her way to him and saw he was carrying what looked to be a cloak in his hands. He extended his hand into the Vulcan greeting as she reached him. Again, she felt the unexplainable uneasiness that had overcome her once before at the team meeting in the Earth Vulcan Embassy. 

“Na’shaya, Miss Grayson.” _Welcome_. “Vulcan is honored to receive all guests that seek peaceful missions. I trust your travels were uneventful.” Amanda looked up at him and nodded. “Thank you, Ambassador. It was very calm. And a lovely view”. She had only been on the ground a short while, but she could feel the intense heat from the sun building around her and her body begin to sweat. “How far is the walk to the city?” 

Sarek glanced towards the buildings in the distance. “Approximately twenty Earth minutes and ten Earth seconds”. He handed the cloak over to her as she held back a small chuckle at his preciseness. “This will help shield you from the sunlight. I surmise it is more intense here than on your home world.” Amanda took the dark cloak thankfully and tugged it around herself. “This will definitely help.” 

She pulled the large hood over her head and felt better in its shadow as they began their walk toward ShiKahr. Amanda studied the ground as they walked, watching the fine dust skiff across the rocks in the slight breeze around them. She looked around for insects, then up at the horizon and scouted for any signs of trees. The only ones she saw were thin, gangly trunks with branches devoid of leaves. 

“I have a question, Ambassador,” she inquired to the stoic form beside her. “Are there any trees on Vulcan that actually have leaves?” 

“Most do not. However, if you travelled closer to the polar regions of the planet, you would find a small number that hold a certain amount of greenery. There are a few of these specimens in the town square as well.” He looked out in front of them. “I will be sure to bring you to them when we arrive”. Amanda was happy to hear she would be able to see them. The nature and terrain of other worlds deeply interested her, along with their cultural and language differences. 

Suddenly, she felt extremely hot and unsettled, like a jolt of boiling hot water had been spilled on her, and she stopped in her tracks. _It must be the heat. I’m not used to it_. She closed her eyes briefly. 

“Are you alright?” Sarek had sensed her discomfort immediately and was peering at her face, a slight ridge forming between his eyebrows. 

“Yes, I’m sorry. I think....the heat will just take some getting used to.” She took a deep breath, but the warm air she inhaled only made things feel worse. 

Sarek indicated a rock bed a few yards beside them. “You must seek comfort. We will rest on the rocks until you are at ease.” Amanda nodded gratefully and they slowly made their way to the rocks. Once there, she found a large, smooth one among the jagged outcropping to rest on. Sarek stood beside her patiently while she rested. 

“I’m sorry,” she sighed and shook her head. “I guess I should have brought some water with me.” She patted her upper lip to get rid of some of the sweat that had accumulated there. Sarek gazed out into the horizon, hands behind his back. “Do not apologize. It is logical that your body is not yet adjusted to this climate. You must give it adequate time.” 

“I usually love being warm. My parent’s house has a huge fireplace, and I’m always curled up in front of it. But too much heat isn’t good for anyone, I guess.” 

After a few minutes, she felt better and they tried again to venture toward the city. This time they walked more slowly and made it without incident. After Sarek had pointed out the trees he had mentioned before, a hovercar met them and took them to where Amanda would be staying for the duration of her time on the planet. 

It was Tu’Pari’s residence, a modest home built on a sloping hill overlooking a large expanse of sand dunes with a view of distant mountains. The front of the house seemed to be constructed of a terracotta like material, and a few collections of violet shrubbery were kept under the large windowsills and lined the pathway up to the front door. A solitary leafless tree stood in front, and it’s thick, gnarled trunk and branches reminded Amanda of the backdrop to several fairytales of her childhood. The understated elegance perfectly matched the owner of the dwelling, and Amanda fell in love with the house instantly. 

“Your luggage should arrive in a few hours and will be delivered here,” stated Sarek simply as he followed her up the path to the slight archway over the entrance. Amanda unwound the cloak from her shoulders and handed it back to him. 

“I will leave you now to tend to my other duties of the day. We will continue our tour tomorrow after you have sufficiently rested.” She could see him studying her face, probably checking for signs of her having another heat stroke attack. _He probably won’t want to take me outside ever again. Wouldn’t want to take the risk of me having a heart attack and dying on him!_ She fought to calm her nerves while nodding at him. “I feel perfectly fine now. But, I would like the rest of the day to settle in here. The plan sounds good to me.” 

She hesitated and added, “Thank you for showing me the way.” 

“It was not an inconvenience.” His dark eyes held hers and she found she was unable to look away. 

They said their goodbyes briefly. Sarek walked back to the hovercar as Amanda turned to face the front door of the dwelling she would be calling home. She raised a hand and proceeded to knock. 

A slight Vulcan woman with short glossy hair that curled behind her pointed ears answered her knock; Tu’Pari’s housemaid T’Rin. She welcomed Amanda and led her inside. “T’sai Tu’Pari is out at the present moment, however she told me to help you settle in. Let me show you around the home.” They went for a quick tour and Amanda took in the small but functional kitchen and living space, and was told the upstairs held Tu’Pari’s room. The house held little for decoration, as expected, but what decoration it did have seemed symbolic and meaningful, almost tribal. They ventured outside to view a small sitting area that had the ability to be enclosed in case of a dust storm. “T’sai Tu’Pari prefers her morning meal outdoors,” T’Rin explained. 

Finally, T’Rin showed her what was to be her own private living space at the end of the hallway, off from the living area, with its own adjoining bathroom. The housemaid took her leave to prepare dinner and Amanda stood in the middle of her room, delighting in the view from the large window beside her bed. The walls were made of the same material as the outside of the house, and the floor was laid out in solid stone masonry. She didn’t even have her luggage in there yet, but it already felt like home. 

She stretched her arms up over her head with a yawn, then climbed onto the bed. She was unsure if Vulcan’s ever took mid-afternoon naps, but the heat had taken a lot out of her and she was ready for a true rest. 


	7. Chapter 7

** CHAPTER 7 **

The next morning, Amanda woke feeling refreshed. Her luggage had finally arrived and  as she began to fill the closet with her belongings,  she was surprised and delighted to discover that  Tu’Pari had taken the liberty of leaving a few Vulcan outfits  for  her houseguest. After questioning  T’Rin numerous times if it was okay for her to wear one, she selected a  long  robe made of dusty blue hues and elegant layering and held it outstretched before her . Several thin strings dangled from various locations on both sides of the garment.

“Do you require help with the robe,  T’Sai ?”  T’Rin inquired when she viewed Amanda’s slightly puzzled look. 

Amanda quirked up the side of her mouth slightly and responded. “That would be very helpful, actually. I don’t want to do this the wrong way. It’s like a hospital gown.....where does the opening go?”

T’Rin gently helped Amanda dress, and when she was through, turned her slightly to face the mirror hanging on the wall beside them so she could see herself. Amanda’s eyes widened. She loved the feel of the fabric, so light and airy but not see-through, and very sophisticated. She delighted in how much more comfortable it was than her regular clothes. 

She reached up and felt her favorite slim, gold chain around her neck with her hand, patting it nervously. “Is this okay to wear, T’Rin? I’m not too sure about jewelry conduct here.”

“It is perfectly agreeable, T'sai. Small ornaments are not out of fashion.” She regarded Amanda’s hair critically in the mirror. “If you would prefer, I am able to design your hair in the traditional Vulcan styling.” Amanda’s eyes lit up and she smiled accidently. “That would be wonderful!”

OOOOO

Amanda stepped out of the hovercar that had taken her to her second destination of the day. The first had been an informative tour of Shikahr accompanied by Tu’Pari. She had pointed out to Amanda the most important buildings and shops, and stopped to view a few of the monuments in the town square. All the while, Amanda had soaked in the calm, efficient atmosphere of the city, so unlike Earth. There were no loud, colorful billboards or advertisements screaming for your attention -no pushy salespeople begging you to try a sample of their wares. The city itself seemed extremely well-cared for; she had spotted not one piece of litter on the ground during her entire journey. There was no rushing about, all the citizens seemed to know where they were going and many walked in pairs, enjoying comfortable silence or muted conversation. There was no staring or misbehaving children, no commotion or loud music. It was the epitome of peace. 

Now, she was to meet Sarek at the Vulcan Learning Academy to go over her plans with him regarding her first lesson plans and how they would be taught. Her courses would be heavily focused on the teachings of Earth Standard, obviously. However, she felt strongly that just the teaching of the language itself would not be enough to bring Earth and Vulcan closer together. She had also injected an element of Earth culture into her plans, hoping this would help Vulcan’s understand what it meant to actually be Human. If they knew more of Earth history and evolution, they would run into less surprises when dealing with them in the flesh. 

She put a hand up to her hair, making sure it was still in place. She was extremely pleased with how the Vulcan style had turned out. The look wasn’t too severe; T’Rin was skilled enough to keep the updo soft and subtle but also in keeping with Vulcan tradition. Amanda felt like she actually fit in against the landscape around her, now. 

The Academy was large and looming, with stark white beam-work against the many window panes tinted to repel the intense sunlight. It rose up into the sky and was a true artistic gem against the parched, dry landscape. Amanda knew many people of Earth mistakenly presumed Vulcans to be drab, dull, and devoid of anything aesthetically pleasing. But she also knew that on the contrary, they took “pride” in their architectural abilities. Each building had its own character and no two houses looked the same. 

She stepped into the main hall, awestruck by the vast atrium and was mildly taken aback by several pots of greenery adorning the room. It almost felt like a lobby back home on Earth. She was soon greeted by the slim form of Delvok, who informed her that Sarek was otherwise occupied but would be joining them shortly. They made their way to one of the large teaching auditoriums and took a tour through the many rows of seats and the large teaching platform at the front of the room. She estimated that it would be able to seat at least one hundred students. It reminded her of a teaching auditorium one would see at an Earth university, but she had been instructed that her students would range between six to seven Earth years of age.  _ Can children-even Vulcan children- sit still that long? In such an uninteresting environment?  _

“I wouldn’t be starting in a room so large as this, would I?” Amanda inquired, trying to keep the slight alarm out of her voice but not entirely succeeding. 

Delvok’s eyes held a slight amount of veiled amusement. “Certainly not, T’sai. I only presumed you would appreciate viewing one of our more impressive learning environments first.” 

“Impressive is right,” Amanda quipped, feeling relieved.  She had heard of the individual “learing pods” Vulcan used to educate their students when not in lectures, but she found these learning auditoriums to be much more impressive.  As they discussed the normal day-to-day flow of the learning center, Amanda heard footsteps behind them. Sarek had climbed up the steps of the teaching area and joined them in the middle of the stage. She extended her hand in the Vulcan greeting and he did the same. 

“I trust you are well this morning, Miss Grayson.” Sarek inquired. His eyes flicked over her quickly and she suddenly wondered what he thought of her appearance.  _ I hope he doesn’t think I’m playing dress up.  _ His face revealed nothing. 

“Yes, very well, Ambassador. Delvok was showing me this impressive learning theater. How many students can it hold?”

“Approximately two hundred students, if all seats are occupied. This room is reserved for international conferences or subjects of higher importance.” Sarek addressed Delvok. “I will escort Miss Grayson for the remainder of the tour. Your assistance is no longer required.” Delvok bowed his head slightly. “As you wish, Osu. Peace and long life, Miss Grayson.” He turned and retreated back out toward his office on one of the upper floors. 

Sarek turned toward the large command board to the side of the stage. It controlled the hologram projections and also doubled as a touch screen computer. He nimbly worked the on-screen commands with his fingertips to open a specific file , the glow of the screen illuminating his facial features . “I have reviewed the documents you sent to my office that contain your lesson plans, Miss Grayson. I wish to discuss them with you.” He said this with the same stony expression he always carried, so Amanda was unable to glean any insight into how he felt about them. She swallowed. “Of course.” She started to lead him through her timetable, how she would start off with the basics of fundamental Earth Standard, then, depending on the skill level of the class, (which she expected to be quite high) she would move into more challenging intricacies of the language. 

She started to mention how she would try to incorporate several learning activities into each lesson, when Sarek raised an eyebrow. “What is meant by this  _ learning activity _ ?” he intoned with a hint of curiosity. 

Amanda shifted her weight slightly. “Well, the purpose of this project is to get Vulcans more exposure to Earth language and culture. I thought what better way than to  _ show _ them what Earth is really like. Every day would be different. I could play a small video from a famous movie, or play them a famous piece of music. Maybe even hold a mini history lesson.”

Sarek said nothing for a time, flicking through the files on the screen. Finally, he switched off the work station and turned to Amanda. “I agree with all your proposals with exception of the learning activity. I believe the main goal of this mission is to educate in the areas concerning Earth Standard, in order to build a more concrete understanding between both worlds. However, the second aspect you have proposed does not seem to serve a valid purpose.”

Amanda blinked and furrowed her brow. “Doesn’t serve a purpose?” She tilted her head slightly. “How am I to teach about Earth if I’m not allowed to show real life examples?” 

Sarek folded his hands behind his back. “I see that your mission serves to educate in language. The cultural aspect is negligible and therefore is not required.” 

Amanda squared her jaw. “Earth is not just the home world of Earth Standard. It has many other facets that others do not understand. I believe many misunderstandings in the political world could be avoided if others were schooled in Earth’s way of life. Emotion and expression are not things to be afraid of, it’s how our society works.” Her right hand anxiously kneaded the cuff of her sleeve, out of sight behind her back.  _ Why is he not understanding?  _

Sarek made eye contact with her. “Miss Grayson, I believe if one were interested in an Earth history lesson, they could seek information during their free time. You must be clear of the goal set for you by the linguistic council.” 

Amanda stood her ground defiantly. “I am extremely clear, Ambassador. I am here to show the people of Vulcan what Earth is all about. I am here to make sure there is no more disconnect between our people. I’m unsure of how I can do that solely through linguistics alone.” 

He gave a slight eyebrow raise. “If you are not completely clear on the purpose of this mission, re-visiting the guidelines given to you by the linguistic counsel may prove useful to you.” His expressionless face was driving her mad. It was getting harder and harder to contain her temper. “It is  illogical to add additional material to a lesson plan if it does not serve the intended purpose.” She bit her tongue at his last sentence.  _ How ignorant!  _

She tried to dial back the emotion in her words, but what came out next held a slightly increased volume. “Well, I must  _ clearly _ be mistaken, then.” She tried to ease the angry tremor from her voice, but her eyes still gleamed with sparks of emotion. “I thought we wanted to promote a shared acceptance of each other’s culture. You are proving to me otherwise.” She turned away from him and looked out into the rows of seats. 

An awkward silence stretched on between them for several moments. Finally, Amanda broke through the stillness. 

“Who am I to be working with these first few weeks?” she asked, her voice returned to normal. 

“ Tu’Pari has volunteered to assist with your guidance first. I will show you to her office.”  h e  answered, seemingly unaffected by her outburst. He  ventured toward the steps on the side of the stage and descended, making his way back out into the main atrium. Amanda followed a lengthy distance behind. 

Her mind ran full speed as they walked through the numerous hallways and staircases in silence, her mind barely registering the path they were taking.  _ How dare he throw aside all my careful plans! Without even trying to negotiate. I thought he was a diplomat.  _ And all with that stoic exterior, like he was chiseled out of stone. She didn’t know why his lack of emotion kept getting under her skin. He was Vulcan, after all.  _ Well, I guess I’ll have to adjust my lesson plans for now, but I’m not giving up on this. Who knows, maybe after a few months, he’ll change his mind. _


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8**

A busy day full of meetings had finally wound its way to a close. Sarek sat in his temporary office at the Vulcan Learning Academy, skimming the itinerary for the next day as he sat and prepared for future meetings in his mind. In the morning, had to meet with a visiting world leader to discuss updated trade deals, host a lecture focused on de-escalation strategies and their advantages, and give a brief update to the linguistic counsel on his team’s evaluation of Miss Grayson’s performance thus far in the afternoon. He mulled over the last point on the list. 

Miss Grayson had been on Vulcan for one month in total. She had taught her first class without a hitch, he was told. Tu’Pari sat in on the lecture and was quite satisfied. Feedback from the students had been very positive and all mentioned they were learning a great deal. His comments to the counsel would be complimentary. Sarek really had seen little of her since their brief meetings when she had first arrived. He viewed her to be very intelligent, and less imposing than most Humans. Usually, when he spent his days working at the Earth Vulcan Embassy, he found he had to take special care to build up and barricade his physical and mental barriers. Human emotion poured towards him unrelentingly at every turn, and if he was not careful, they would threaten to overwhelm him. Every Vulcan knew the toll on one’s energy it took to keep such barriers intact. 

But Miss Grayson seemed very aware of her physical actions, and was astutely aware of her emotional signals as well. He could sense her trying to hold them in check while she was around him, and for this he felt something akin to gratitude. However, there were a few instances where she had been unable to do this. He sensed her hot shame as the loud and obtrusive woman had unceremoniously barged into the meeting room to introduce Miss Grayson to his team. Sarek himself was a touch telepath, as most Vulcans were, so he was surprised when he could also hear her apologies from across the table without physical contact. This revelation had troubled him. Of course, it was known that cases of telepathy without physical contact had existed, however it was usually only known to be possible between Vulcan’s who had entered into a marital bond. He quirked up an upswept eyebrow. _Why she felt she was somehow responsible for that woman’s behavior, I do not know._

He had also sensed her raw emotions concerning her lesson plans many weeks before. He still did not know what had angered her so. However, he felt it was something he had said that had made her feel this way, and for that he was displeased. But, he had tried to keep the interests of the High Counsel at the forefront, and he imagined if any of the members were to view Miss Grayson teaching the ways of Earth culture, they would misread her enthusiasm for her subject as an eagerness to overwrite Vulcan culture with her own, and he would immediately be summoned to the sacred temple for a lengthy conversation with T’Amar. Nonetheless, the look Amanda’s eyes carried in the auditorium during their disagreement had stuck with him, and he found himself thinking back to that moment often. _Regrettable._

A quick beep emitted from his PADD sitting on one side of the desk. Sarek placed the screen in front of him and swiped open his inbox to read his latest incoming message. It was from a representative of T’Amar, who was relying a message directly from her. He felt his entire body tense ever so slightly and willed it to relax just as quickly as he began to read. 

_Ambassador,_

_From the Lady T’Amar:_

_Do not delay in your choice. You must choose before unrepairable damage is done. Your body will not wait for you. You are of royal blood and multiple suitable candidates are at your disposal._

_Inform me of your decision without delay._

_Loyal Representative of House of Ba’tak_

The message ended with the official seal of the Vulcan High Counsel. Sarek let out a small exhale and laid the PADD back on the desk. His eyes glanced over at the small stacked pile of colorful data chips he had placed in the farthest corner of the room, each brimming with information regarding eligible Vulcan females. A thin layer of dust had begun to collect on the top chip. Slowly, he turned his desk chair so he faced the window behind him. The setting sun cast a vivid orange glow across his face. He adjusted his body into a more relaxed position, closed his eyes and began to meditate. 

OOOOO 

Amanda followed Tu’Pari into a large, open sitting area in the circular courtyard behind the Vulcan Learning Academy. They both balanced trays of food in their hands as they walked, and finally placed them on a table in between two sturdy chairs at the back of the courtyard. It was encircled by a simple decorative gate, and the few large trees within the sitting area were adorned with bushy quills of auburn that gave some amount of shade over their heads. 

Amanda pushed off her cloak’s hood and patted her hair into place. “It’s quite soothing back here.” Tu’Pari mixed together a bowl of what looked to be something close to yogurt and berries. “It is indeed agreeable. I regret that I haven’t been able to bring you here sooner. Our lunch schedules rarely co-ordinate together.” 

Amanda speared one of the colorful cubes of fruit on her plate with her fork. Vulcans were known vegetarians and at first, she had thought she would miss meat. But as time went on, she was getting more and more used to its absence. “I can’t believe I’ve almost been here for two months already. I’m glad today is almost over, I feel pretty bagged.” 

Tu’Pari gave her a slightly dubious expression. “How does one feel like an object meant to hold other objects?” Amanda stifled a snort and popped the fruit into mouth. “Nevermind.” 

It had been almost two months since Amanda had first arrived on Vulcan, and she really felt that she had settled in. Apart from the occasional mis-step (recently she had accidently asked one of her pupils how their day was going, which was met with a raised eyebrow and a reply of “it is a day like any other.”) she felt as if she was living up to expectations. She usually saw Tu’Pari every day, either in passing at the Academy, at lunch time, or at home in the evening. As a result of this, Amanda felt comfortable enough to let parts of her human-self seep through every once in a while. Tu’Pari was definitely a Vulcan, but she was one of the most accepting, open-minded personalities Amanda had ever encountered. She felt as if no topic were off limits with her, and would go as far as to call her a friend. She was a wonderful wealth of teaching knowledge, having taught multiple classes herself, and was also a vital tool in aiding Amanda with her own Vulcan speaking. Whenever Amanda was unsure of how to structure a certain topic, she always asked Tu’Pari for guidance. She was Amanda’s role-model in how to be exotically beautiful, graceful, and approachable all at the same time. 

After they chatted for a few minutes about the events of the day, Tu’Pari set down her spoon and dabbed the corner of her mouth with a napkin. “Have you been informed of the upcoming festival?” she inquired nonchalantly. 

Amanda shook her head. “Uhm, no, not that I’m aware of. A festival? What does it celebrate?” She leaned in, curious. 

“Well, the actual name is unpronounceable for most non-Vulcans. In Earth Standard, we call it the “Turning of the Season”. It symbolizes the beginning of longer nights and shorter days for our planet. It’s also when many couples choose to announce the dates of their bonding ceremonies to the community.” 

“That sounds so...festive! I would love to go with you to the celebration.” She looked over shyly. “That’s if I’m invited, of course.” Tu’Pari waved her hand dismissively. “You are most certainly invited to accompany me. I will also be attending with my intended, S’Rell.” Amanda nodded. “That's wonderful. I would be pleased to meet him.” 

Tu’Pari and S’Rell had announced their bonding ceremony date to be five Earth months from today. She secretly hoped she would be invited to attend that as well. Seeing a Vulcan “wedding” in person would be a once-in-a-lifetime experience. 


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER 9**

Amanda carefully smoothed out the dark blue material of her long formal robes. She was in a hovercar, sitting beside Tu’Pari, on their way to the Turn of the Season celebration. T’Rin had again helped her with her hair, this time fashioning it into an elegant bun with accent braids at the sides. The formal robes were more form-fitting than her causal ones, and she was surprised that this one had short sleeves, but understood once she saw the dark gloves that went up past her elbow. Inwardly, she thanked herself for laying off the breakfast sweet bread T’Rin relentlessly baked every morning. 

Amanda stared out the passenger window and watched the darkened sky pass by with its multitude of stars beginning to shine their way through. Ever since she found out the celebration was to be held at Sarek’s residence, she had been unable to completely relax. Her mind replayed their last encounter over and over. _Did I actually almost yell at him? Ugh, what was I thinking?_ She thought she would have had an opportunity to see him in person a day or two afterwards, but it had almost been two months since their disagreement, and she had not seen him since. She still was at a loss for a reason why his opinion of her mattered so much to herself. She barely even knew him. 

Soon, the rolling hills of rust-red soil gave way to a large valley, and Amanda laid eyes on a substantial, stately home with a stone face and multiple columns embellishing the front entrance. There wasn’t another building within sight, and the land immediately around the home was trimmed with tidy bushes and various other short shrubbery, accented with decorative rock displays. The largest collection of trees she had seen on the planet sprawled out behind the estate. 

_Wow_ . Amanda was having a hard time picturing Sarek living in this expansive dwelling, as the hovercar pulled up to the front of the home. Nothing about their encounters had hinted to her that he was wealthy, or something more than wealthy; this estate was like nothing else she had seen on Vulcan thus far. But it suddenly dawned on her from the shadowy depths of her memory that during one of her research sessions she had stumbled upon the fact of him being part of the House of Surak , one of the most prestigious families on Vulcan. Now it made more sense to her why the festivities were being held here. _He’s_ _almost_ _like royalty._

The hovercar came to halt directly in front of a wide stone path leading up to the entranceway of the estate. A rare light rain had just passed through the area and the stone still gleamed with drops of moisture. They both climbed their way out of the car and Amanda took a deep breath of fresh air while smoothing out her robes again. Tu’Pari looked elegant as ever in a dusky purple robe with an intricate design on the collar. She had a silver decorative pin in her hair that sparkled under the soft lights that were set to illuminate the path up to the house. 

“S’Rell is already inside. Let us go in.” Amanda followed closely behind her as they walked up the stone path and entered through the large double doors of the mansion. Inside, the main foyer was filled with several people of different races, all wearing their best formal attire. Amanda could see right into the main living area to the left, where many Vulcans stood together in groups. There was a small study to the right of a wide staircase that split left and right at the landing on the upper floor. Pleasant strums of an instrument Amanda didn’t recognize met her ears and the steady hum of idle chatter filled the air. The atmosphere wasn’t loud, just comfortable and festive. She could see a long table full of colorful food at the other end of the foyer and her stomach rumbled, reminding her that her nerves had prevented her from eating for most of the day. 

Tu’Pari turned and extended two long, slender fingers to meet up with the ones of her intended, S’Rell. He had just emerged from the main sitting room. “Amanda Grayson, this is my partner, S’Rell.” Tu’Pari gave him a meaningful look. “It has been some time, my intended one.” 

“It has, my beloved.” He returned her gaze, then addressed Amanda. “It is an honor to meet you, Miss Grayson. I do hope you will enjoy the Turn of the Season.” She gave him a cheerful gaze but tried to keep her face neutral. “I am honored to be invited, and to meet you as well. Your mate is a very gracious hostess to me.” 

Tu’Pari and S’Rell fell into conversation after that, and Amanda took the time to properly take in the impressive rooms around her. Large, vaulted ceilings gave the impression of an immense space, but the polished stone floors and wallpaper embossed in intricate but subtle designs gave everything a cozy feel. Large bookcases covered most of the walls in the study area and impressive chandeliers hung from the dining room and foyer ceilings. 

A small fire was burning in a fireplace within the main living area and Amanda moved closer to feel the inviting warmth on her gloved hands. She was mildly surprised Vulcan’s would indulge in a fire on such a warm planet. It didn’t have quite as many crackles and pops like she was used to hearing, but the inviting warmth was the same. It reminded her of her parent’s fireplace back on Earth. She made a mental note to videocall them later. 

“I am satisfied that you were invited to the celebration tonight, Miss Grayson.” The rumble of his low voice made her heart skip. 

Amanda turned and her eyes took in Sarek’s tall form, clad in a classic formal robe with a slightly raised collar. A white dress shirt peeked out from underneath. His dark hair was always neatly in place, but tonight it looked like it curled at the edges more than usual. His dark eyes were a stark contrast to the bright tinge of the fire and she could see the glimmer of orange flames reflect off of them. 

She clasped her hands in front of her and dropped her gaze. “Yes, Tu’Pari was so kind as to invite me.” Her mind brought back the memory of their disagreement at the Learning Academy. She still stood by her opinions about the learning material but she wished she had kept her temper in check. _How do you go about apologizing to a Vulcan?_

She met his eyes, almost shyly, and decided to give it a try. “I have been thinking about what I said at the Learning Academy,” she ventured, shifting on her feet self-consciously. “I believe that my...frustration...came out against you and made my views on certain matters more.... prominent.” 

The Ambassador seemed to recognize her attempt at an apology and tilted his head slightly in acknowledgment. “This is not unexpected when the subject matter is known to be of great importance to the individual.” He paused in contemplation. “To fight for that which you truly believe in is inherently human.” 

Amanda felt the tension ease from her shoulders, sensing that he had forgiven her outburst. She didn’t intend to totally give up her fight for a more well-rounded lesson plan concerning Earth culture, but she didn’t want to make any enemies along the way, either. She gave a small nod and changed the subject. “I’m pretty surprised that Vulcan’s throw a party like this. I had no idea that the Turn of the Season was a thing.” 

Sarek lifted an eyebrow quizzically. “It is not a “thing”. It is a celebration of the transition into longer nights and shorter days. I believe Earth has a similar time of year, the Winter Solstice.” 

Amanda couldn’t help rolling her eyes at him. “Yes, I _know_. That’s not what I meant.” 

Sarek regarded her, eyebrow still elevated. “Interesting.” 

Suddenly, two well-dressed Human men were at Sarek’s side and engaged him in conversation. She recognized one as an important Earth senator and the other was an aide to the secretary of state. She felt this conversation would take a while, so she slipped away and made herself a plate of food. The spread was lovely, towering plates of colorful fruits and vegetables native to Vulcan covered the buffet table and she even noticed a few desserts at the very end. She milled around, trying to decide where to sit and enjoy her, admittedly, heaping plate when she was stopped by a stranger. 

“Excuse me, but are you Amanda Grayson?” He was a Vulcan of what appeared to be middle age by what she could tell. She didn’t recognize him but he seemed pleasant enough. She set her plate down on an end table to her right, careful not to get any salad dressing on her gloves. “Why yes, that is me. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” 

The Vulcan regarded her with a rather intense gaze. “Can you tell me about the Earth Standard class you’ve currently been teaching?” 

She was slightly surprised that he hadn’t introduced himself, as well with the fact that he knew about her at all, but she figured he must work at the Academy. “Well, I’ve only just started. It’s been a few months now, but I feel like we’re making great progress.” She tucked a stray strand of blonde hair behind her ear. “It’s very enjoyable to be helping others understand each other better.” 

“I see.” The Vulcan hadn’t blinked for their entire conversation and Amanda started to feel apprehensive. "And how do you feel about your role in eroding the treasured history of Vulcan heritage?” the Vulcan sneered. 

Amanda blinked. “Sorry?” She thought she had heard wrong. 

The Vulcan, who was so calm and ordinary a moment before, was now rigid and filled with pent-up rage. “You Earth _filth_ are what’s wrong with our society today. Tarnishing our sacred traditions with your culture of bigotry.” He took a step forward, now standing directly in front of her. She could see deep into his eyes, black holes filled with hate. “You are trying to wash away our _history_. Rip away a society that has existed for millennia.” Each word out of his mouth was ragged with outrage. “You are scum that has no right to walk on our sacred lands.” 

Amanda’s eyes darted around, alarmed. She was in what she guessed was the study. It was mostly empty; two other figures were standing in one corner but they were heavily engrossed in conversation. 

“No! That’s not at all what I......I mean, there’s no r-reason to think that I could possibly.....” She took a step back. 

Quicker than she could blink, his right hand shot out and grasped her by the throat. She tried to make a sound but couldn’t. He started to squeeze as she clasped both hands around his in an attempt to pry them away. Her eyes started to water and panic ballooned in her stomach. 

“Soon, everyone will know what you are doing. They _will_ realize and they _will_ end it _.”_ His grip continued to get tighter and she felt him lift her by her neck ever so slightly, making sure she could see his eyes. 

“VILTAH!” he swore at her. But as soon as the word had left his lips he was yanked backward suddenly. He lost his grip on Amanda and she stumbled back, bringing her hand up to cover over where he had squeezed her, coughing violently. Sarek had a firm hold on the assailant's shoulder and whirled him around to face him head on. 

“LEAVE. NOW.” his voice boomed with the power of a thousand battle drums. The look on his face was one of unbridled anger; nostrils flared and eyes as black as the coal at the bottom of the fireplace. Amanda’s eyes widened at the sight. She had never imagined his face to be capable of such an expression. He put himself between the attacker and Amanda, arm still gripping the assailant’s shoulder. 

“She should be HUNG for her transgressions!” The Vulcan shouted his words directly at Sarek and Amanda gasped. She saw his shoulders tense and as quickly as the words were out Sarek’s right fist connected hard with the assailant’s jaw. The Vulcan reeled backward and Sarek brought him back up, as if he intended to hit him again, but several other Vulcan’s from the party emerged around him and Sarek released him out of his grasp, almost reluctantly. 

The Vulcan attacker turned on his heel and left the room with measured urgency. Several other male party guests followed him to see to it that he actually left the property. Amanda was shocked. She sat down in the nearest chair, and stared at the ground, still holding her neck. The Vulcan’s words echoed in her mind. _She should be HUNG!_

Sarek made his way to her instantly and stooped to her level, placing a hand on the armrest next to her. “Miss Grayson?” he questioned gently. Her eyes met his and she felt a small tear escape the edges of her lashes and track down her cheek. She quickly patted it away with her gloved fingers. 

“I’m okay. Really, I am. I just....I’m so _surprised_. I don’t even know why this happened.” She put her face in her hands. “I’m so confused.” 

“You did nothing to provoke him” he assured her. “He is a troubled being with internal conflict. A radical.” He paused, as if contemplating his next words heavily, and he kept his voice low. “Vulcans have a past most others are not aware of. We have changed our way of life from that of our more violent ancestors. We chose logic over violence.” He cast his eyes down, as if he were ashamed of his people’s history. Amanda brought her face up from her hands. “Oh, “she ventured shakily. “I didn’t k-know that”. 

“There are still traditionalists who prefer the old way of life. They prefer the violence and the unbridled emotion. They do not aspire to build relationships with other worlds. And hold dangerous grudges toward anyone who seeks a different path.” 

She gazed at the floor in front of her. “So, he believes I’m going against Vulcan’s tradition, that I’m trying to erase it?” 

“Do not concern yourself with what conclusions he has _supposedly_ drawn in his mind.” There was an undertone of disgust laced in his words. A shadow had fallen over them and Amanda looked up. Most of the guests had crowded around the entrance to the study, but were respecting their privacy. They murmured to each other in hushed, muted tones. The comfortable, festive atmosphere had fizzled away. 

Amanda sniffed gently. “I ruined your party.” Sarek’s face transitioned from not entirely vailed concern to mild relief and he met her eyes again. “It is of no consequence.” he said softly. 

Tu’Pari rushed into the room, purple robes swirling around her ankles. “Amanda!” she exclaimed. It was the most emotion she had ever seen from her. The Vulcan woman rushed to her side and Sarek stood up. He promptly explained to her what had happened, in Vulcan. Amanda was unsure of what exactly he said, she was still quite shaken and wasn’t able to follow along with most of it. Tu’Pari left the room to fetch her a glass of water. 

“I will escort you to your home” Sarek said to her as Tu’Pari returned and gave Amanda the water. 

“That is not needed, Ambassador. I am capable of riding home with her,” Tu’Pari replied, her neutral expression back in place. A few minutes later, both Vulcans followed Amanda closely out of the house and down to the hovercar. Sarek held open the passenger door as Tu’Pari helped her climb in, making sure the skirts of her robes wouldn’t get caught in the door frame. They could both see she was a bit shaky on her feet, still clearly in shock. 

Amanda fastened the seatbelt over her lap and Sarek bent his head down past the doorframe to address her as Tu’Pari walked around to the other passenger door. “I will visit early tomorrow morning to ensure your well-being. You must rest as soon as you arrive home.” He held her eyes again with his. She didn’t know if it was because she was in shock or if the event had put her in some sort of weird mental state, but she suddenly felt very warm and safe, as if someone had lifted up her soul and wrapped it in a blanket. 

“Alright” she whispered. Tu’Pari climbed in next to her and leaned over her lap to close the door. The feeling was gone. 


	10. Chapter 10

** CHAPTER 10 **

Sarek’s day had once again been a hectic one. Firstly, he had lent his diplomatic talents as an impartial mediator concerning business dealings between two vastly wealthy businessmen working close to the border of the Alpha and Beta quadrants. Both were interested in lining their own pockets, and neither were interested in co-operating. Secondly, he had written up an initial draft of his annual speech for the cultural festival to be held in the town square of Shikahr in a few months' time. As a member of the House of Surak, it was his obligation. He felt neither burdened nor honored by the task, it simply had to be done. 

Thirdly, as an Ambassador of the Federation, he had recently arrived by shuttle craft to a planet named Pacifica, a world filled with large oceans and lush greenery for a diplomatic conference to be held over the span of one Earth week to discuss ratifications to the Orulian Accord. He had spent the first two days on the planet in long, involved meetings, and now the committee had taken this night to break free and clear their minds before reconvening once again tomorrow morning. 

Currently, Sarek stood beside the open window of his temporary living quarters, regarding the lush forest sprawled out in view before him. What he could see of it was deteriorating with every passing moment, as the darkness of night finally surrounded him. He was staying in a small living complex, simple and fashioned from the elements available around the area. The native people of this planet were very tribal, but quite intelligent, and their buildings were solid as well as aesthetically pleasing. The planet was used by many starship captain’s as a popular destination for crew shore leave, known for its abundance of lush plant life and beautiful blue oceans. As well, many diplomatic conferences chose to convene here for the known hospitality of the native people. It was a quiet, peaceful environment where careful thinking and planning could take place unhindered. 

He closed his eyes and listened intently to the rhythmic lapping of the waves up onto the beach nearest the living facility. The beach was a fair distance away, but the night was so calm and still, nothing stood to block the sound. Vulcan hearing was also considered the most fine-tuned of any Federation species. The waves rushed in with force, then dissipated just as quickly, leaving a soft spray of mist in their wake. Sarek listened to this pattern for some time, then opened his eyes and turned back toward the room. A few small, flickering lanterns illuminated his surroundings, and he crossed the floor to the other side of the room, withdrawing his meditation mat from beside his modest bag of luggage. He unfurled the mat and placed it across the stone floor. Carefully, he sat with legs tucked underneath him and arranged his body into meditating position. 

This was the ritual of most Vulcans before they succumbed to sleep. Some did this as they laid in their beds, leaving meditation and entering sleep in one fluid motion. However, Sarek preferred to keep these two activities separate. He closed his eyes once again and changed his breathing patterns to induce deep thought. Slow, lingering inhales and deep, rolling exhales. He cleared his mind of everything; all the distractions of the current day, all the lingering thoughts of the past month. All were silenced. He became one with his body, felt the entirety of his being. He could sense the blood coursing steadily through his arteries, hear his heart thumping periodically under the diaphragm in his abdomen. All was in working order. After he finished this inspection of his vital signs, he slowly let thoughts filter back into his mind, one by one, inspecting them carefully, as if he were turning them over in his hands. Usually, this part of his meditation did not require much effort, but recently, his thoughts had been more involved, and needed to be appraised more closely. 

The first thought that came into his mind was the peaceful ocean waves he had listened to a few moments before.  _ The sound is indeed peaceful. It is logical that I find some level of contentment from this.  _ Another thought entered his mind at this particular moment. He saw Amanda, walking beside him, a small smile gracing her face as the intense sunlight shone down overhead. He recognized it as the time they had walked from the Learning Academy to the outer courtyard together a few weeks prior.  _ This is also logical _ _..... _ _ Miss Grayson is from Earth _ _ , _ _ a planet with oceans. And this planet is also known for its oceans. _ He tried to get past this thought, to let in something else. But his mind was not yet through with this image, and it kept replaying in his mind’s eye. He saw her long hair sway as she walked in front of him now, and as she turned back to look at him, a strand of it caught in the slight breeze and caressed her face. She brought up a hand and smoothed it away, and he could sense himself focusing on her hand, intrigued by how small and soft it seemed. 

Abruptly, the image in his mind shifted from this to Amanda feverishly gasping for air as the rouge Vulcan squeezed his hand around her slender neck. Her eyes held the intense shock she felt and he could feel her internal call for help echo deep inside his bones. He sensed his thoughts sear with rage, and his pulse galloped to life. A large flare of anger flashed through him and he pictured himself hurling the Vulcan to the ground with all his strength and raining blows upon his head until the Vulcan lay motionless, dark green blood covering his fists. 

He wiped this fantasy from his mind abruptly and worked unexpectedly to control this outburst of emotion.  _ No. This is illogical. Such an intense emotion would only be appropriate for one that was bonded to her.  _ He suppressed these feelings further, deep down in the depths of his emotional control and locked them away. He fought to soothe over his nerves and regain his control.  _ I was concerned for her safety.  _ He beckoned his pulse to slow and his breathing to return to normal. _ My guests were in harms’ way. It was only logical that I removed him from the premises.  _ He felt his body return to its previous state of equilibrium. _ For the safety of all.  _

OOOOO

“I just don’t think this is working for us. Maybe it’s best if we just let things drop for a while.”

Amanda stared at  David ’s face though the PADD she held in front of her. She was in her room, sitting cross legged on her bed in her nightgown, feeling worn out from a long day of lesson planning. It had been a month since the Turn of the Season fiasco and her days had been busy enough to distract her from what had happened. But whenever she thought back on it, she felt generally disquieted and hoped to never cross a Vulcan with such strong resentment towards her ever again. It also made her wonder how many more out there shared his views. 

But whenever she thought back to that night, there was one thing that stood out in her mind most of all. The image of the Ambassador, holding the assailant by the shoulder. The expression on his face made her feel unexplainably weak; she had never before beheld the sight of a Vulcan on the edge of losing control. And the intense satisfaction she got by watching his fist hammer the Vulcan in the face was undeniably incredible. 

In between all this reflection, she had also thought about her relationship with  David and had expected a call like this for a few weeks now, but it still carried a painful sting hearing him say the words. 

“I know I haven’t been calling so much lately....” Amanda hedged. “The Academy just keeps me so busy. I haven’t forgotten about you, I promise.” She inwardly wondered why she had been acting so lukewarm.  David had been her first serious boyfriend, and she had always assumed that someday they would move in together and even get married. 

David’s  expression was one of tired frustration. “It’s hard to be in a relationship when you’re the only one putting an actual effort in.” His words were meant to cut deep into her skin. But she knew she wasn’t the only one to blame. 

“ David , you act as if this is **** _ all _ my fault. Every spare minute I can, I try to check in. I miss you!” She tucked her hair behind her ears. “But I’m _ finally  _ doing something with my life, achieving my dream, and I have yet to hear anything positive from you about it.” Her words reflected the hurt she had carried around with her ever since his lackluster reaction to her project acceptance. 

He sighed and ran a hand across the top of his head. “Amanda, come on. I told you I was happy about it, and I’m trying to do the best I can here. I don’t want to keep chasing you around. I want to feel like you’re in this as much as I am.”

She held the screen tighter. “I  _ am  _ in this as much as you are! I tell you all about my days, I try to keep you informed. I want to hear about your day too. I don’t know what else you want from me.” 

“I’m sure your pal Sarek knows more about your days then I do.” Amanda gritted her teeth. Sarek had offered to walk with her once a week in the evenings to show her around the city, and it made it easier to discuss how her classes were going without having to schedule a separate meeting with him. She had enjoyed this addition to her week; she asked him all her questions about Vulcan culture and they conversed at length in Vulcan tongue to strengthen her vocabulary. She also had a sneaking suspicion that this was his way of making sure she was safe. 

“Don’t bring him into this. All the Vulcans that I work with offer to help me whenever I need.” She was caught slightly off-guard by how quickly his comment brought up her defenses.  David laughed sarcastically. “Well, maybe if you spent more time with your own kind and less time with  _ Vulcans _ , trying to transform yourself into one of them, we could have had something really special.” he spat out at her. 

Tears started to gather in her eyes. “I have to go.” She managed through clenched teeth as she quickly powered off the PADD. She stared at herself in the reflection of the blank screen, thinking nothing. 

Finally, she dropped it next to her and curled into a ball on her side. The reality of what had happened finally set in—not only what  David had said but everything that had happened in the past month-- and a few sharp sobs racked her body for a moment. She grasped a pillow to her face so she wouldn’t make any noise. Then she was still, staring blankly at the wall in front of her. 


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER 11**

The sky had just accepted it’s shift into dusk as light grey and orange hues mingled with darker blue ones in large bands across the sky. Amanda matched Sarek’s long, measured strides as they made their way from the outskirts of Shikahr and headed back toward Tu’Pari’s home during one of their weekly evening walks. They had stopped at one of Amanda’s favorite trinket stands in the town market as their last stop, and she held in her hand the purchase she had made with admiration. 

“I just love the intricate beadwork on this bracelet,” she said as she held it out in front of her and examined the glossy dark blue and green jewels intricately entwined within strongly braided leather strings. “I almost want to go back and buy the matching necklace, but it was far too expensive.” Sarek turned his head to carefully inspect the gems. “It seems the colors which you have chosen are in keeping with the vast oceans of your home world.” 

Amanda carefully clasped the bracelet around her wrist as they walked. “That’s true. I never realized at the time, but you’re right. I’ve always loved the water.” She shot him a sideways glance. “I don’t suppose Vulcans particularly enjoy it.” He folded his hands in front of him and contemplated her suggestion. “What evidence do you hold to support this notion?” His voice held a hint of humor. 

Amanda held up her hand and ticked the reasons off on her fingers. “Well number one, I have yet to see paintings or pictures of any Vulcans close to any amount of water. And number two,” she ticked off a second finger, “There’s the fact that Vulcan has no vast bodies of water at all, therefore, most Vulcans do not know how to swim.” 

“This is untrue. Many Vulcans learn how to swim at an early age.” 

“Really? Well, I’m surprised. Humans do that too actually, I had lessons when I was about seven years old.” Thinking about Earth made her think about David. She felt her jovial mood fizzle away and fell silent. After a few moments, Sarek ventured to speak. “I sense that something is causing you emotional discomfort, Miss Grayson.” 

His tone was not accusatory, but rather that of a person asking about another’s wellbeing. Amanda was not expecting him to pick up on her feelings so quickly and acutely and she felt bad for unsuccessfully shielding him from them. “I guess you could say that.” 

Just like she had done with Tu’Pari, spending more and more time with Sarek had caused her to feel more comfortable in his presence. She no longer held back every small smile or scoff. She still tried to maintain careful emotional control (she knew Vulcans were extremely sensitive to emotional signals) but within the framework of comfort she had built with him, she no longer felt that shielding her entire personality from him was necessary. She _was_ Human, after all. 

She sighed faintly and was unsure if she was quite comfortable enough to venture into this topic with him. “I have....or _had_.....a significant other,” she began uncertainly. “We had a fairly large argument and.....I believe now that we are no longer together.” She pointed her gaze down at her feet awkwardly, watching her sandals intently as they skiffed through the dirt. Her arms encircled her abdomen, as if holding her insides in place, giving her some sense of security. Sarek lifted an eyebrow slightly. “You have a bondmate?” She knew this word from Tu’Pari. From what she understood, bonding was more involved then Earth dating. Much more. 

Amanda shrugged. “Earth relationships work differently. You go and meet people of your own accord, you spend a certain amount of time with them and then decide where to go from there. Our race is a lot more casual when it comes to love and marriage.” She felt increasingly uncomfortable with each word. “Well, the majority are. I’m not, I take it seriously. Well, I _try_ to take it seriously......” She trailed off and stared out at the large expanse of empty land in front of them. “Anyway, I was what Earth people call “ _dating_ ” this man.....and we had been together for many years.....but he does not approve of me living here.” She said the last part bitterly. 

Sarek was quiet for a time, eyes looking out into the horizon. Finally, with what seemed as an almost imperceptible exhale, he broke the silence. “Vulcans are bonded to another at birth. They are meant to marry an “intended one” when they both reach appropriate age. They are acquainted with each other frequently as they move through their youth. However, some are not successful matches, and must seek another themselves.” He paused and Amanda reveled in this rare glimpse into Vulcan marital affairs. “But, once they are bonded, this connection is infinite, only broken by death, unless broken before the bonding ceremony.” 

A thought occurred to Amanda that hadn’t before crossed her mind. “Are you bonded with someone?” As soon as the question left her lips, she fervently wished she could reel them back. She sensed him stiffen slightly beside her. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t pry.....I was just curious, you don’t have to--” 

“No.” He cut off her stream of apology. “I am not. My intended one chose to be with another, and our tie was severed.” Amanda wasn’t expecting such an honest answer. She wondered what he meant by a severed tie. An emotional tie or something deeper? But she didn’t have enough courage to ask for clarification and they let the subject drop. 

The sound of churning dirt and rocks under their feet became more prominent as they reached the rockier terrain surrounding the land around her temporary home. She could see the house come into view and a deep part of her felt disappointed that their walk was coming to an end. 

She stole a quick glance at Sarek’s form next to her as they walked in companionable silence. His profile was outlined softly by the fine glow of the stars starting to make themselves known in the darkening sky, and a stray thought entered her mind that his dark, distinguished features could resemble an exotic prince from a faraway land. Quickly she turned her head and stared straight ahead. _Where did that come from?_ A slight blush entered her cheeks. 

Suddenly she heard Sarek’s voice. “Stop.” 

_He heard me!_ She turned to face him abruptly, heart pounding _._ “What?” she asked, panicked. 

Sarek’s eyes were focused on her left shoulder. “There is a multi-legged insect on your shoulder. It is venomous.” 

Her posture immediately relaxed. “Oh.” she intoned, relieved. But then his words fully registered their meaning. “Oh!” She wanted to hazard a glance at her shoulder but didn’t for fear of jumping out of her skin. Sarek kept his calm composure. “I will extend my hand towards the creature in an attempt to have it climb onto me. The venom is markedly more lethal to humans compared to that of Vulcans.” He made eye contact. “Remain calm.” 

She felt pricks of fear run down her spine. She willed herself to stand as still as a statue and keep her eyes on him. “Alright” she breathed. 

Sarek started to reach out towards her, but stopped. She let a small squeak of alarm escape as she felt the insect suddenly scramble its way from the top of her shoulder down her cloak and rest on the inside of the palm of her hand. Now that it was in direct contact with her skin, she felt revulsion and all her nerve endings crawled with disgust. _Is it a spider?!_

She closed her eyes and turned her face away in an attempt to distance herself from this bug. Sarek again reached out a slender hand and slowly connected his fingertips against her open palm, just below the creature. As soon as their skin made contact, Amanda felt a stong, foreign surge of sensation travel up her body. Her eyes snapped open and her gaze locked onto his. Just as quickly as she felt it, the insect crawled its way onto Sarek’s outstretched fingers and he withdrew his hand, seemly unaffected by what had passed between them. The strange feeling that had coursed through her vanished as quickly as it had appeared. 

Sarek stooped down toward the ground and lightly shook the insect onto the dusty surface. She finally got a good look at the thing; a body in the shape of a dragonfly with multiple long legs and two prominent antennae. They both watched it scurry away into the darkness. “Thank you.” Amanda offered weakly, still recovering from the experience. 

“It was no inconvenience.” Sarek righted himself and resumed their walk. “A sting from that venomous creature would have caused you unnecessary pain for several days. It is logical that I should try to prevent it.” 

They spent the rest of their walk quietly. Amanda’s mind scrambled to calm her nerves and process her feelings. She couldn’t deny that she had felt something dramatic, but she had trouble describing what exactly it was. She had felt a connection, a surge of awareness. She had also felt extremely protected, and warm. It reminded her of the feeling she experienced when Sarek had comforted her by the hovercar at the Turn of the Season celebration, after that night had gone so terribly wrong. Whatever that warmth was, something deep inside her ached to feel it again. 

Shortly, they both arrived at the entrance to her residence, shrouded by the warm glow of the lone lantern lighting the doorway. Amanda turned to face him. “Same time next week?” She tried to keep her tone light as her insides roiled with mixed emotion. 

“That is acceptable.” His voice was low as he stared down at her and she had a sudden urge to run her fingertips over the curvature of his strong jaw. He slowly held up his hand in the Vulcan salute. “Live long and prosper, Miss Grayson.” She returned the sentiment and watched his back while he retreated into the surrounding darkness. 


	12. Chapter 12

** CHAPTER 12 **

Amanda stared at the calendar on her desk, in disbelief that it had already been five months since she first set foot on Vulcan. She was in her small office at the Vulcan Learning Academy, feverishly preparing for her biggest upcoming project yet. She had been overjoyed when Tu’Pari had delivered the news that she was allowed to take part in the culture festival to be held in the town square next week. It was an annual celebration of Vulcan tradition and heritage, and she was surprised that the linguist counsel had approved her involvement (in her liaison Marilyn’s words it was a “golden nugget of an opportunity"). They had told her it was imperative that she try to introduce Earth Standard to the citizens of Shikahr, since the Vulcan Learning Academy always brought a sampling of their educational projects to the festival. 

She had relayed to her class the news of this development, and they had all responded indifferently on the surface, however she had come to know her class quite well, and could sense they were essentially pleased with the prospect. She had them all work on their conversational skills in Earth Standard so they would be in top form to display their linguistic talents to the populace. One dark spot in her otherwise uneventful month was the fact that Tu’Pari was no longer working directly beside her. Those responsibilities had been shifted to N’Veyan, the other Vulcan member of the project. She had not seen him since their first meeting with Marilyn at the Earth Vulcan Embassy.

She tilted herself back in her desk chair and recalled their first day together. N’Veyan had promptly showed himself outside her classroom ten minutes before class began (in keeping with proper Vulcan etiquette; all her students arrived exactly five minutes early on the dot), and without acknowledging her, stood at the back of the room to observe her lecture. He looked as severe as she remembered, with a high hairline that peaked at the sides and large upswept brows. A deep crease had appeared across the bridge of his nose and she imagined that he had never once found anything to be humorous in his entire life. 

After class had ended, he had approached her. “Your lecture was satisfactory,” he stated without embellishment. Amanda was put off by the stark contrast of his demeanor against that of Tu’Pari, but was nonetheless relieved he approved of her teaching. “I am pleased to hear it,” she responded simply, staring into his gaze and seeing nothing but remoteness and detachment. 

For the most part, all Vulcan’s shared the same icy exterior and if one didn’t know any better, they could assume all Vulcan’s shared the same indifferent demeanor as well. However, as Amanda got to know the Vulcans closest to her, she had learned to read their various “tells” of emotion. Tu’Pari would always cast sideways glances at her when she made a silly joke, and she knew under it all that she found Amanda humorous. Or with Sarek, whenever she displayed an outright Human characteristic, he would raise an eyebrow in her direction and act all the world like he couldn’t possibly fathom her personality, but she could sense secretly that a part of him was amused by her actions and did not find these qualities as unseemly as she originally thought he would. 

N’Veyan, on the other hand, was a book that was bound tightly shut. She felt no underlying essence buried underneath his Vulcan upbringing. He was cold. 

After this initial introduction, N’Veyan scheduled a meeting with her every week to go over her plans for the festival and listened intently as she tried to paint the vision in her mind with her words. One day she even brought in a huge section of poster board with all her ideas neatly divided into rows and unfurled it on his desk. Usually, he would say one or two sentences to her per meeting, but that day, he said nothing at all. 

Amanda sighed and leaned forward, resting her elbows on the tabletop and massaging her neck. She missed having a friend to share her lunch hours with. Tu’Pari was off planet for the next couple of days, and outside of her, Amanda didn’t really have any other companions.  _ That’s not true _ , her mind intoned innocently.  _ Sarek is your friend. _

She closed her eyes and lowered her head into her now folded arms. Sarek. That was another topic constantly flowing through her mind lately. She couldn’t stop thinking about that feeling she’d experienced when he had touched her hand. That illusive, intangible, surge of.....what exactly? She didn’t know. What she did know was she was starting to have some confusing thoughts, thoughts that were not acceptable toward a co-worker. She found herself looking forward to their weekly outings together more than anything else in her schedule, spending extra time on her hair and actually planning interesting tidbits of knowledge to sprinkle into their conversation. It didn’t take a brain surgeon to realize what that meant. 

She pushed her irrational thoughts back into the depths of her mind.  _ I’m probably just overreacting....my breakup with  _ _ David _ _ has me all worried that I’m alone, so the next guy I see my mind is going nuts for. _ She hung onto that reasoning for dear life, but deep down she knew there was much more to it than that.  _ It’s just a schoolgirl crush. You know that Vulcan’s and Human’s don’t go together.  _ Suddenly, she felt the urge to talk to someone. Someone that could respond to her feelings with feelings of their own. 

Quickly, she dug out her PADD from her pile of belongings beside her desk, after deciding that she did not want to have this conversation using the office computer system. After engaging the lock on her office door, she called up someone she knew would provide her a second opinion. 

After a few rings, the face of a bright-eyed redhead with endless curly red hair appeared on screen. “Hey, Amanda!”

“Hey Allison! I’m so glad to see your face.” Ever since the two had interviewed together for the linguistic project, they had kept in touch and had become fast friends. “How are things on Risa?”

Allison’s assignment had placed her on a planet named Epsilon Ceti B, or Risa, as it was most usually referred to. Amanda couldn’t picture a better fit for her friend. “Oh, you know,” Allison began with a devilish grin. “I’m definitely trying to immerse myself in the culture.” 

The planet was known for its open attitude towards sexual relations and was referred to as a “pleasure planet.” But it had a rich cultural history as well, and the landscape was full of tropical vegetation and birds of all colors. Allison sensed there was an underlying reason for the call. “Mandy? Is something going on? You look stressed,” her features took on a determined expression. “Spill. Now.” 

Amanda took in a deep breath and tried to decide where to begin. “Well...there’s this  _ Vulcan _ , and......” 

OOOOO

The morning of the cultural festival swelled with increasing heat and proved that the afternoon to follow would be another scorcher, in keeping with almost every other day on the planet. Amanda made sure to take an extra sunscreen tablet with her morning meal as she knew she would be out in  the  sun’s intense rays for most of the day. She sat in the outside living area of her temporary dwelling with Tu’Pari as they usually did each morning, watching the sun rise slowly over the distant mountain peaks. 

They filled each other in on their schedules for the day, while slowly stirring their steaming bowls of porridge spiced with a common Vulcan fruit. After their bowls were empty, they returned inside and Amanda entered into her room, feeling content from a warm, full stomach. She selected a robe that she had purchased earlier in the week from her closet. It was a dusty maroon and the sleeve cuffs had been sewn with a bronze thread. She decided she didn’t want to bother T’Rin about doing her hair, and pulled it up at the sides, leaving the rest to fall down her back. 

After gathering up her festival supplies, she called a hovercar and arrived in the town square of ShiKahr half an hour later. Already, she could see the beginnings of festival structures starting to take shape as the car pulled up and she sprang out of it with enthusiasm, hauling her bags of supplies behind her. Several booths were being erected in orderly locations around the large town center that were made of sturdy wooden beams. The booths made a wide ring around the center of the square, which held a modest statue of Surak, standing tall and authoritative, surrounded by a few rows of dense shrubs. A simple plaque stood in front of the statue, embossed with the house name of Surak and a quote from one of his most famous literary works that discussed his teachings. 

She stepped closer to read the signs for a few of the booths; some were meant for store owners offering samples of their business, others were more traditional and were selling authentic Vulcan robes and hair accessories. One booth even had an assortment of musical instruments. Large food platters were being carried carefully to tables under large tented areas to the side of the square. Multiple citizens mulled around the entire area, some watching nonchalantly and others discussing what was to come in muted tones. And some of them, she discovered with delight, were donning simple, four-cornered hats on their heads of dark grey, made of what appeared to be a felt- like material. She assumed the hats were part of the celebration and couldn’t believe that Vulcan’s allowed themselves such an ornamental indulgence. She smiled and hoped she would be able to get her hands on one.  _ These are things they do  _ not _ teach you about in the classroom!  _

The tents were modest and the decoration was limited, as to be expected for any Vulcan gathering. But Amanda could feel a tangible buzz in the air; the festival was only a short time away. 

She quickly made her way toward the location of her own small booth, which was already fully erected. She had tried to keep her decorations muted, but let herself get more creative with the front banner. It spelled out “Vulcan Learning Academy, Section 15” in large block letters. She had drawn an intricate Earth in the background, and in smaller print on the bottom it read “Earth Standard Department”. She quickly fastened the banner to the bottom of the booth and brought the rest of her supplies around the back. She added a few colorful streamers to the periphery and after another half hour, she spotted her class making their way towards her in a small group, some wearing the felt hats. She came around the front of the booth to greet the children. 

“Welcome, class,” she exclaimed and folded her hands behind her back. “I have assembled our booth. Is everyone prepared to hold some Earth Standard conversations?”

OOOOO

The sun had made its daily journey across the sky but had not yet begun to set. The festival was now in full swing, or in as much of a swing as Vulcan’s could manage. Large crowds surrounded the town center, and rather than being loud and unruly like one would expect on Earth, the crowds were filled with citizens who respected the festival and took in its offerings peacefully. Many children tried their hand at answering the mathematical equations etched on the board behind the Learning Academy’s booth of Mathematics and Engineering. Several people stopped to watch the astoundingly precarious poses of the meditation guru, who seemingly could achieve complete balance while perched on the top of a very slim fence. Multiple musicians carried out softly melodic tunes on various instruments, depending on what part of the square you stood in. One Vulcan practiced on what looked to be a flute, while another played on what appeared to be a small harp. Amanda found the experience of listening to music of another world strange and fascinating at the same time. The melodies were gentle and rhythmic, almost solemn. 

The smell of roasted fruit and vegetables filled the air, and she saw a few Vulcan children pass by her booth with what appeared to be a form of blue rock candy on a stick. A Vulcan in a thick robe in the booth across from Amanda was peddling various candles of multiple shades that claimed to increase focus. In another area to the left of them, a Vulcan elder was teaching a small group of people how to sew a traditional Vulcan meditation mat. Amanda watched the woman expertly pass the heavy thread through with her thin, knobby fingers, awed at their nimbleness. 

Currently, her own booth held a few students who stood alert at either side of its entrance, awaiting more visitors. All in all, she had been quite happy with how everything had turned out, as several Vulcans had come to visit them. Some knew a small amount of Earth Standard, and the children helped them learn a few more basic words useful in day to day life. Others could speak quite fluently, and Amanda delighted in watching the Vulcan children adapt and strengthen their own fluency almost on the spot. It was one thing to learn a language in a classroom, and it was quite another to use it in real life situations. She hoped that her booth had been useful to the community in some small way. 

She had been on her own for most of the day with her students who kept rotating every few hours, except for a brief visit from N’Veyan. His look was as severe as always when he greeted her and inquired about how the day had been progressing; she gave him a brief report and stated that everyone was having a nice time. Seemingly satisfied with this, he departed, making his way out of the festival grounds, not bothering to take in any of his surroundings as he strode out of view. 

Amanda’s legs grew tired from standing all day and she wished someone would come relieve her soon so she could help herself to some of the food tents. She had tried to shield herself from the sun as much as possible, and had draped a spare piece of tenting material across the top of the booth to act as a sun shade. To pass the time in between booth visitors, she quizzed the children on proper nouns for certain situations and how one would address certain members of Earth government. Of course, their answers were almost always correct. Sometimes she felt a computer could do her job and no one would be the wiser. 

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a pair of Vulcans heading toward them. She turned her head and saw them to be Sarek and Delvok, and she couldn’t deny the small flutter she felt in her stomach. 

After they greeted one another, Amanda walked around to the front of the booth. “Everyone seems to be learning so much today. I am endlessly satisfied with my student’s abilities.” She afforded the children a small smile. 

Sarek stood beside her. “I am pleased to hear it.” He directed his next comment to the children at their booth. “You are free to experience the festivities. You have performed what is expected of you.” The children hurried away under paired remarks of “Yes, Osu”. 

He turned back to Amanda. “We have come to afford you a break, Miss Grayson. Your booth has performed quite well. I have heard positive feedback from those of whom I’ve inquired to.” He inclined his head toward  Delvok . “ Delvok will take your place for the time being.” His assistant  quickly  took Amanda’s place behind the booth. She turned and gave him a mutedly thankful expression. “I appreciate this, Delvok. Are you sure you’ll be alright here?” 

“Quite certain, T’sai,” the tall Vulcan intoned. “I do not pretend to hold the immense wealth of knowledge that you possess, but I will strive to do my best.” He laid the palms of his hands on the booth in front of him, as if fortifying himself. Amanda nodded her head and felt a pleasant vibe of friendship between them. “Your help is much appreciated.” 

She turned back towards the direction of the food tents as she felt her stomach rumble. “Do you require company?” Sarek inquired, taking a step closer. 

“Are you  _ asking _ to come with me?” Amanda intoned impishly.

“I am inquiring into whether you would object to have another guest join you at this time.” His face held no expression but she saw that his eyes sparked with humor. She tilted her head to the side as if mulling over his suggestion. “I suppose I wouldn’t object to that....only if the company is worth having.”  _ Am I actually flirting with him?! _

He held his hands behind his back and raised an eyebrow, as if taking offence. “The company is of the highest quality.”

She gave him a small eyeroll and they made their way toward one of the food tents. Small clusters of tables and chairs had been placed around the area and most were already taken. They both secured bowls in their hands and filled them with various fruit slices and vegetables. Amanda ventured to try a bite of a round, dense-looking cake. She expected the flavor to mirror that of Earth cake; light, moist, with a hint of vanilla. Instead she experienced the exact opposite; bitter, chalky and spicy. She made a slight choking noise and quickly spat out the mouthful onto her napkin as delicately as she could. 

“Was the taste not satisfactory, Miss Grayson?” Sarek questioned, his voice carrying a tinge of mockery. 

“I....it’s not for me.” She said bluntly, depositing the rest of the cake in the waste cylinder. “Cakes of Earth have a completely different taste.” 

Since most of the tables were occupied, they made their way back out into the sunshine and sat on the raised edge of one of the rock beds lining the side of the town square. They said nothing for a time as they both dug into their dishes. Once her hunger had been completely quieted, she set her bowl down on the ledge beside her and took in the view of the festival. “This reminds me of Earth festivals. But I think ours are more “in your face”.”

Sarek, also finished with his bowl, placed it down on the ledge and raised an eyebrow. “How could a festival take place on an individual’s facial surface?” Amanda gave a small groan and waved her hand. “No, no. It’s an expression....it means loud, flashy, hard to ignore. Not subtle.” 

Sarek leaned back slightly in understanding. “I see. Humans have many ways to express what they mean without saying their meaning outright. I find this...illogical.” 

She laid her hands down on either side of the ledge and leaned back against them, staring up into the sky. “Humans are silly that way. I think things would go a lot smoother if we all just said what we meant.” She regarded the festival again, listening to the lilting strains of music that reached them. “The only thing this festival is missing is dancing.” Sarek turned his gaze towards her and she felt like a spotlight had been trained onto her face. “Do you wish to dance, Miss Grayson?” 

She furrowed her brow in bafflement and looked back at him. “You know how to dance?”

“Indeed.”

She was shocked. She had never seen any indication that Vulcans ever danced, or even knew about dancing at all. And frankly, she couldn’t imagine Vulcans getting that close to each other in public. He glanced out in front of him. “I am a diplomat, Miss Grayson. I attend many functions on Earth, and almost all these functions require some amount of dancing. Vulcans do not necessarily partake in this themselves, but it is not looked down upon to do so, as long as the steps are appropriate for the occasion.” 

He righted himself and tipped his head marginally in the direction the square. “If you wish, I will accompany you.” 

Amanda fought to keep her mouth from dropping open. She could feel her heart start to thump against her ribs at an accelerated rate. After a moment’s pause, she stood up with him and smoothed out her robes. “That.... sounds like fun.” 

It sounded impossible. She could feel her hands quiver under her sleeves and her throat tighten as she followed his form closer to the source of the music. There were a few musicians gathered near this edge of the square, one with a flute and another with the interesting instrument that Amanda thought resembled a harp with its wooden base and long, taught strings. Sarek stopped a handful of feet away from him and faced her again. 

“What is that instrument called? It’s beautiful,” Amanda inquired, trying to stall a situation that she was not in the least prepared for. Sarek regarded the instrument in question. “It is a Vulcan lyre. I believe it holds resemblance to the Earth harp. The tone is quite different from the harp, however.”

Sarek stepped over towards the lyre player and spoke a few words in his ear, then returned. The song that had been playing was cut short, and another tune began, this time with a quicker tempo. Sarek met Amanda’s gaze and she could sense color rising to her cheeks under the scrutiny. Her body never failed to feel the effects of his stare. 

“I....k-know how to dance formally...but...it’s been quite awhile,” she stammered. She guessed from the sound of the music they were about to do something akin to a waltz. 

Sarek held out an arm and rested his hand on top of her shoulder assertively, while laying the other hand almost imperceptibly at the small of her back. Amanda felt her eyes widen slightly at the contact, and after a few seconds of pause she brought up her hands to mimic his position, thankful they would not be joining hands. 

“It is of no matter. I will lead us,” he intoned to her. And then they were off, stepping in sync together, gracefully making their way around a small part of the square. She saw the surroundings of the festival blur around her as their bodies whirled across their makeshift dance floor and back again. Several Vulcans turned their heads to observe them, but Amanda was past the point of caring. Her mind was filled with the thought of being so close to him, so publicly. All her senses were alive; she felt the smooth material of his robes beneath her fingers, took in the warmth of his hands on her as they gently guiding her. She finally tilted her head to look up at him fully and found his eyes to be the dark depths she usually saw, but they were acutely trained on her this time with such intensity that she could feel goosebumps travel up the lengths of her arms. 

“Do you believe anything to be lacking from the festival now, Miss Grayson?” his tone was deep and rolled right over her, his head now dipped low to her ear to make sure she heard him. 

“No. Nothing.” she breathed. She looked past his shoulder as he kept his head low beside hers while they swayed, feet keeping perfect time. She thanked her lucky stars profusely that she hadn’t stepped on his feet by accident. She felt the song change its pace and their movement slowed to match. She perceived his hand at her back apply more pressure and she moved even closer to him. He brought his head back up and she could see every fleck of pigment in his eyes . S he could swear they held depths of deep emotion behind them, emotions she hadn’t even scratched the surface of. She felt him study her face just as she was studying his, and a warm feeling poured over her, reaching every corner of herself. She chanced to bring up one of her hands from his shoulder up to the base of his neck, feeling like she needed to be even closer...like she---

A loud bang followed by a few smaller popping sounds came crashing through to her senses. Both of them stopped abruptly in their tracks and craned their heads towards the explosion. The music stopped abruptly and cries of alarm filled the air. 

“What---” Amanda didn’t even have the words out before another loud bang interrupted her, this time a lot closer to them. Sarek grabbed out and pulled her against his chest, shielding her body with his own as the powerful blast unleashed itself a few yards away, kicking up a large cloud of dust and smoke, while spitting out tiny shards of debris. She pushed her face against his chest as hard as she could with her eyes squeezed shut, arms pressed up under her body as his arms encircled her. 

And just as quickly as it happened, everything was still. She felt Sarek’s chest heave with adrenaline and she couldn’t help but shudder as she opened her eyes again. Neither of them dared to move for a few moments, then finally Amanda pulled back and he released her. 

“Are you unharmed?” Sarek had let her go but kept her at a close distance, eyes roving over her and checking for signs of injury. 

“I’m okay! Are you okay?” She saw a small scratch on his cheek where something must have grazed him, but he was otherwise untouched. “What’s going on?” Her ears still rang from the blast. 

They both turned to take in their surroundings. Amanda looked to her right where the second blast had taken place closer to them. She saw a broad crater about six feet wide in the ground, with a small hunk of smoking metal in the center. A few Vulcans lay haphazardly beside the crater, but both were moving while seeming to have only superficial injuries, and both were adults. Amanda moved to help them when she heard a voice to her left. “ _ Gol’nev _ ! Help, we need help this way!” 

Sarek and Amanda made their way over to the voice. It was hazy and hard to see through the smoke that still clung to the air, and she struggled to make out the shape of her class’s festival booth, but she could see it wasn’t completely upright anymore. Her stomach dropped.  _ No! The children.  _ She started to run. She didn’t see anyone in the area immediately surrounding the booth, but as she got closer, she remembered suddenly who had taken her place and came to a stop behind the remains of the booth. “No!”

Delvok’s limp form lay on the stone of the town square, eyes closed. Another Vulcan had propped him up against one of the larger pieces of rubble and was tending to a sizable wound on his abdomen. Amanda could see it was bleeding heavily, green blood staining the white accents of his robes. 

“I’ve called for help,” the Vulcan told her and Sarek calmly. He had torn off part of his sleeve and was trying to stop some of the bleeding. The Vulcan gave Sarek a n urgent look. “We need to inform his  bondmate immediately.”

“I will see to it.” Sarek’s voice was firm, but Amanda could feel the vast concern he concealed. “I will go with him to the hospital, "she assured him. “You can meet me there once you’ve relayed the message.” They locked eyes again and she knew he could read her mind like an open book. Her thoughts were a mixture of terror and confusion and she was unable to fully shield her emotions from him. 

“I have no notion of what has occurred here or the reason behind it,” Sarek said, seemingly trying to answer her unspoken questions. “But it will be discovered,” he promised her with conviction.

A siren not unlike the ambulances of Earth sounded in the distance and Sarek gave her one last look before he turned and left to notify Delvok’s bondmate of his whereabouts. 


	13. Chapter 13

** CHAPTER 13 **

The days following the festival attack were full of tension and an air of uncertainty. Amanda taught her classes as usual, and her students exhibited no outward signs that anything was amiss. But there were less questions asked today, something considered out of the ordinary for these pupils who thrived on education and discovery. She was deeply thankful that none of the children were harmed in the attack, but she carried around a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach with the knowledge that they could easily have been hurt, or worse. 

She tried to follow her classes example and go on as if nothing had happened, but she couldn’t successfully silent the unrelenting thoughts that kept playing through her mind like one large loop of old-time film. That dance with Sarek, the closeness and the longing, and then......explosion. Terror. Greif. Her mind vividly recalled the sight of Delvok laying lifelessly on the ground. She found some comfort in the fact that he was expected to make a full recovery, but not anytime soon. The last time she saw Sarek had been at the hospital, and they both spoke with the healer that had treated Delvok’s injuries. The healer was very optimistic about his condition but warned he would require plenty of rest and possibly another small surgery. 

Amanda closed her eyes briefly as her last class of the day filed out of the teaching hall. A slight but nagging headache started to make itself known and she rubbed her temple, trying to coax it away. Instead of soothing the pain, another thought made its way into the forefront of her mind, one that she tried to repress but couldn’t quite abolish. A part of her instinctively felt that the attack had in some way been motivated by her presence at the festival, and this made her feel even more insecure. And frankly, quite afraid. 

A soft beep emitted from the PADD on her teaching podium in front of her and she swiped open the incoming message with her finger. A shock of cold foreboding trickled down her spine and her heart clenched as she read the words on the screen. 

_ T’Sai Amanda Grayson,  _

_ From the Lady T’Amar: _

_ Report to the Sacred Temple of the Vulcan High Counsel in one solar day, hour 9:00 Earth Standard Time. A meeting will commence where within the discussion of recent events will take place. All parties are expected to attend.  _

_ Loyal Representative of House of Ba’tak _

Amanda closed the message. Both hands gripped the sides of the podium until her knuckles turned white. For her, a human, to be asked to the Sacred Temple, the subject matter of what was to be discussed would be undoubtedly unpleasant. 

OOOOO

That night she tossed and turned in her bed, unable to drift into a deep, satisfying sleep. Her bed was plush and she had enough cozy blankets, but her body heat seemed to warm her bedsheets to uncomfortable levels, and she kept rolling to the other side of the bed in hopes of cooling them off. She took off her pajama top and changed her bottoms to shorts instead of pants. Laying on her back, she listened to the stillness of the night around her with one arm slung over her eyes. 

Her bedroom window was held slightly ajar, in an attempt to increase air flow. She could hear a soft rustling in the distance, and guessed it to be a creature akin to a nocturnal Earth bat getting comfortable on the branch of a solitary tree behind the house. Her ear also caught the sounds of soft creaking down the hall; T’Rin sometimes ventured into the kitchen for a midnight cup of steaming tea. 

She took in a deep breath of the clean nighttime air slowly drifting in from her window and tried to relax. She had struggled to turn off her brain for about four hours now, and she had tried everything under the sun, even counting sheep. But her mind was relentless, always flicking back to the message sent to her that afternoon from T’Amar’s representative. Finally, she decided to try and rehearse an old song she used to sing when she was a child. She was foggy on some of the lyrics, but chanting them over in her mind seemed to be mindless enough to put her to sleep. It made her feel safe, like she was back on Earth, with nothing but annoying boys and picking out outfits to be worried about. 

Amanda suddenly became aware that she was in a dream. Usually, she was left with faint impressions of her dreams upon waking, or a vivid sensation of the emotion she had felt, with no real memory of the dream itself. But this dream was entirely different. She felt fully awake and aware of her surroundings. Her dream body was draped in a pearly, sheer material that cascaded to the ground in elegant folds and she realized the bracelet she had once bought during a walk with Sarek was clasped around her wrist. She was in some sort of wooded area she didn’t recognize, with densely packed trees that towered over her menacingly. The sun was nowhere to be seen, but it wasn’t dark, either. Unsure of where she should go, she turned around and tried to find a path or some other sort of direction. 

Suddenly, a burst of fear enveloped her and she started to run, tripping over her dress. The trees all looked the same and she tried to run in a straight line but she kept having to dodge the thin, spindly trunks. She kept running and suddenly the ground in front of her dropped down and she was running downhill, picking up speed, making it harder for her to dodge the trees. She made her way to the bottom of the hill and stopped, out of breath. She sat down on the emerald grass beneath her and huddled her knees against her chest as it heaved with huge breaths. 

Somewhere, deep in the depths of her mind, she thought she heard a voice. She could hear it speaking, but it was so soft she couldn’t make out the words. Standing up again, she closed her eyes and tried to hone in on the source. It was a man’s voice, but that was all she could decipher. Its tone was soothing, and she felt like she could trust it. 

She opened her eyes again and saw a faint form of a person far out in front of her, across a clearing of long grass. It was too faint to tell if it was a man or a woman, and she began to step towards it, her toes silent against the ground. Finally, she was directly behind the figure, but their features were not visible to her. Amanda closed her eyes again and she instantly felt herself being  embraced by this stranger. She kept her eyes shut and relaxed into the hold, unsure why she felt so calm  here . She sensed a strong gust of wind pick up around her legs, and suddenly her eyes snapped open and she was awake for real. 

OOOOO

A hovercar came to rest in a small cloud of orange dust, a few hours outside the city of Shikahr. Amanda stepped out and pushed the car door closed behind her, taking in her surroundings. The bright sunlight beamed harsh rays onto her face and she pulled up the hood of her dark cloak for protection. A majestic, towering structure loomed over the landscape in the distance; the Sacred Temple. She was sure it had a more historic Vulcan name, but she was unaware of it. Clutching the cloak closer around her body, she started the walk towards it. Multiple prominent stone columns flanked the edges of temple, with intricate inscriptions carved into their surface. A dark, gaping entranceway revealed nothing about the inner aspect of the building and this made Amanda uneasy. The roof was entirely flat, making its silhouette even more severe against the backdrop of the rocks and expanse of open land behind it. 

She made her way up the tall stone steps, all the while trying to guess at whom she would be meeting with. She knew the Vulcan High Counsel consisted of a group of very esteemed Vulcan elders who held an extremely significant role in their culture and the decision making of matters concerning the community at large. She assumed they would want to ask her to recount what she saw of the attack and possibly if she had any notion as to who could have planted the two explosives in the square. She was unsure that anything she could tell them would be of use; her mind had been otherwise occupied directly leading up to the incident. She felt her heart beat a bit quicker. 

Once inside the temple, Amanda pushed off her hood and took in the tall, flickering candles adorning the walls while feeling the temperature around her decrease slightly. It was quite dim but she could make out two large Vulcans who stood guard on either side of a grand stone door, which looked like it would need both of them to open. They were dressed in long white robes, longer than what was considered normal. Gold braided sashes were tied around their waists and a single tassel dangled from the edge of each sash. Both came forward to meet her. 

“This way,  T’sai Grayson,” the larger of the two declared to her. They both turned and grabbed handles hidden behind them, pulling open the door they had been guarding. A long, drawn out screech of stone scraping across the floor echoed within the temple. Amanda gazed into the room that was slowly revealed in front of her. High ceilings gave a feeling of increased importance, and multiple ancient figures had been chiseled within the walls. Dark, broad drapes hung in between the ancient artwork and in the middle of the room stood a gleaming bowl encircling a flickering flame.  J ust past the flame, seated on an elevated solitary chair built into the stonework of the surrounding wall, was an elder Vulcan woman. 

The guards entered the room first, and Amanda quickly followed behind them. Her eyes darted around the elder and saw a handful of other senior Vulcans sitting on long benches at either side of the chair, whom she assumed made up the rest of the High Counsel. She swallowed nervously. She felt as if she were being brought before a judge and a grand jury. 

The guards stopped a few feet short of the centermost Vulcan, both bowing at the waist, and then took their places at her side. Amanda stayed put directly in front of the elder and met her gaze. Frigid, unyielding eyes peered out at Amanda encircled with deep age creases and she suddenly wished she were in the company of  N’Veyan instead.  The elder Vulcan wore a dark blue robe and matching head wrap that hid her pointed ears, while sitting in the chair as if it provided absolutely no comfort; holding herself as straight and ridged as a flagpole. She gave off an aura of such authority and high esteem, that Amanda imagined she was meeting with an all-powerful queen who ruled with an iron fist. 

“Tel-alep, el-faul korsovaya t’all una,” the Elder’s strong voice echoed from her chair. She recited several other lines and Amanda tried to follow along.  _ The Watcher, sacred stone, and something about salvation.  _ She guessed it was the equivalent of a Vulcan prayer to begin the proceedings. 

“Miss Amanda Grayson,” the Elder continued after a brief pause. “I am known as Pid-Kom T’Amar. I am the highest ranking elder of the House of Ba’tak, a branch of the Vulcan High Counsel.” Her gaze never wavered and Amanda tried to meet her gaze just as unwaveringly. “You have been summoned in order to discuss the recent events concerning the city of Shikahr.” Just as Amanda tried to formulate an appropriate response, T’Amar’s eyes broke contact and fixed on a point behind Amanda. 

She knew who it would be even before she turned her head to see Sarek stride down the length of the hall purposefully, his steps echoing off the stone. His eyes avoided her face entirely, and he finally came to stop a few steps to her left. Amanda had wondered before she arrived at the temple if he had been summoned also, and was secretly glad to have someone else to stand with her under the intimidating gaze of T’Amar. 

“I see you have finally arrived, Ambassador. It has been quite some time since our last meeting.” An undertone of disapproval colored her words and she moved both her hands from her lap to the armrests of the chair. 

Sarek inclined his head slightly and raised one of his eyebrows a miniscule amount. “The duties of an Ambassador do not leave much in the way of free time. It ha s  indeed been too long.” 

T’Amar seemed as though she wanted to say more on this subject, but decided to let it pass. “We must know what exactly was seen during the explosion from the Human woman.” T’Amar turned her attention back to Amanda. “Recite your exact memory of the occurrence.” 

Amanda cleared her throat and kept her features neutral. “I had just eaten a meal. I was enjoying the festivities when I heard a jarring explosion on my left, a few yards away,” she tried to keep the nervous tremor from her voice. “Then, several seconds later, another explosion occurred to my right, only a few feet away this time.” She paused, thinking back. “I was inspecting the blast site closest to me and saw a large shard of metal. Then I heard a cry for help from my left and I went to investigate, whereupon I found a Vulcan I was familiar with had been seriously injured behind my educational booth.” 

T’Amar raised her head as if pondering her words and weighing them for merit. “Were you alone in the square?”

Amanda swallowed. “No. No I was not. I was with Sar—the Ambassador, at the time.” She saw T’Amar’s upswept eyebrow raise almost imperceptibly. “Why were you not at your festival post?” 

Amanda’s eyes shifted and she felt her stomach tie into a knot. She hadn’t felt so scolded since she were a small child. “I...I was taking a break. It was quite a long day. I was seeking nourishment.” 

“Why was Delvok selected to take your place? Was this something you had planned beforehand?” The accusatory tone was not lost on her. 

“It was my decision.” Sarek intoned next to Amanda, eyes trained on the Elder. “Miss Grayson was in need of a rest. I appointed  Delvok to see to her duties in the meantime.” His tone was firm. 

“Indeed.”  T’Amar tilted herself farther back into her chair and changed the subject. “How do you believe the teachings of Miss Grayson have been proceeding? Are you convinced that her mission here is a warranted one?” Amanda didn’t know how such a woman could convey such doubt and distrust in a statement she delivered so monotonously, but Amanda felt the sting her words intended. 

Sarek stood straight and stoic, arms at his sides, unaffected by the situation. “I believe Miss Grayson to be an asset to the Vulcan Learning Academy. Her teachings have strengthened the understanding of Earth Standard by her pupils and all her reviewers have been complimentary.” 

T’Amar’s gaze cut through Sarek as if she were trying to set him on fire, while her expression remained as blank as a slate. “So, you believe that her teachings are worth putting the citizens of Shikahr in danger?” She leaned forward again. “Your position hasn’t changed in the light of one of your colleagues being gravely injured?” 

Sarek never hesitated. “I do not believe that the blame of one radical incident can be placed on one who has done nothing to provoke hatred of any sort.” 

T’Amar rose to her feet slowly. “I see. And the incident at the Turn of the Season celebration was a fluke as well?” She stood up fully now, even more intimidating at her full height. Sarek’s eyes revealed nothing but Amanda could see his jaw tighten. “Yes. An unprovoked act of one who does not follow the ways of Surak” 

The elder’s gaze never wavered. “My sole concern is the well-being of Vulcan and safety of its citizens. Therefore, I will consider the termination of this Earth project. In the meantime, I will appoint security measures to ensure an incident like this does not happen again.” Her eyes rested on Amanda briefly and she felt as if she were being appraised at an auction, being assessed to figure out her true worth. “You must comply with these terms or you will be sent home immediately.” 

Amanda nodded and her stomach sank. “I respect your decision.” 


	14. Chapter 14

**CHAPTER 14**

The following few days at the Learning Academy had definitely taken some getting used to. Each of Amanda’s lessons were now accompanied by a Vulcan from T’Amar’s personal guard, rigidly keeping their post at the entrance to the teaching hall. All her lesson plans had to be pre-approved by a representative of the High Counsel a few days before each class. And, of course, any involvement in extracurricular activities on her behalf were strictly prohibited. 

Her heart sank when she realized her class sizes had dwindled, and she could only assume that certain Vulcan families did not want their children having any association with this so-called scandal. Apparently, others within the community and the Learning Academy itself had caught wind of the High Counsel meeting she had attended a few days ago and jumped to their own conclusions. There was no sign of N’Veyan and she assumed he had been replaced by this new “system”; this was possibly the only bright spot Amanda could see in an otherwise bleak turn of events. She felt as if her every move were held under a microscope and she didn’t like it. All of the aspects of her classes she had fought for and painstakingly wore down her superiors to allow her to perform, such as reciting passages from famous Earth literature, were now stricken from the lesson plan, and she was forced to simply answer questions and drone on about verbs and proper sentence structure. 

Finally, the day came to an unceremonious end and she was back in the comfort of her home away from home. Tu’Pari was currently off-planet, and Amanda cursed her rotten luck. One of the few people that would make her feel better was out of reach. Of course, she could video-call her, but she didn’t want to disturb her friend. Letting her heavy outer cloak slip off her shoulders onto the floor, she checked the timepiece in the kitchen and decided to curl up on one of the sitting room chairs with a novel while she waited for Sarek to arrive for one of their weekly evening walks. She hadn’t spoken to him at all after the Counsel meeting and she desperately wanted to hear his view on things, such as if he really thought her project would be terminated or if it was just big talk and ceremonious posturing from T’Amar. She desperately hoped this was the case. She thought back to the meeting briefly, reminded of how tall he had stood in the face of the elder’s criticism. 

Standing before the modest bookshelf in the living space, she selected a popular Vulcan illustrative compilation of the various types of gems native to the world. She loved pouring over the glossy pages in her spare time, admiring the alien rocks and trying to remember their names. She curled up onto a chair facing towards the large central window of the sitting area, seeing the sun just beginning to set. 

Amanda was so comfortable that she became totally engrossed in the book. She only stopped to look up when she noticed the sun had set so much that she was in need of a light to continue reading. Glancing at the time, she noticed that Sarek was two hours late for their usual walking hour. Her heart tumbled and she realized he must not be coming at all. _It’s just as well. The_ only _thing I was looking forward to today won’t be happening._ She got up and flicked on a small lamp beside her chair. Deciding she needed a warm drink to perk up her spirits, she made her way into the kitchen and dug out a few ingredients. T’Rin had accompanied Tu’Pari on her travels off planet, so Amanda was alone to forage around the large cabinets to find what she needed. 

She was in the middle of trying to locate her favorite mug on her tiptoes when she heard a knock at the door. Lowering herself back down to the floor, she hesitated. _Who would be visiting at this hour?_ For the most part, she was not a paranoid person. If she heard a strange noise at night, she usually brushed it off and fell back to sleep. But recent events had her on edge more than she cared to admit. And the fact that she was completely alone in the house only served to strengthen that feeling. She heard another knock and her eyes darted toward the long steel knife sitting in the knife block on the kitchen counter. Just as quickly, the impulse vanished and she rolled her eyes. _I doubt any attacker would knock on the door, idiot._

Amanda crossed the room to the entryway door and inspected the visitor through the peephole. Her suspicions were soon wiped away as she saw Sarek’s face clearly on the other side, softly illuminated by the porch light. She breathed a small sigh of relief and pulled the door open. “Na’shaya, Ambassador,” she had to work at keeping a smile of pleasant surprise off her face. She wondered what had detained him. Vulcans were never late. 

“Greetings, Miss Grayson. I apologize for my absence. May I come in?” He had his hands behind his back, and his posture read as if he were half expecting her to deny him entry. 

“Of course, please do.” She led the way and closed the door softly behind him. He wore a heavy travel cloak over top of his usual dark robes and he seemed somewhat exuberated, as if he had travelled a great distance. His usually pristine dark hair was slightly mussed from the wind and she couldn’t help but notice that he seemed a bit disheveled, almost rugged, and this realization made her pulse quicken slightly. She looked away and offered to take his cloak. He handed it over to her wordlessly, watching her hang it carefully beside the door on a sturdy wooden hook. 

She turned back to face him and he gazed back at her. She realized he had never actually been in this house with her, completely alone, until now. After a few moments of awkward silence, Amanda looked away and ventured back into the kitchen. “It’s probably too dark for our walk now,” she began, resuming her search for the mug. “Would you like something to drink?” Sarek stood a few steps away from her and glanced out the small kitchen window into the darkness. “I am currently not in need of a beverage.” He regarded her on her tip toes as she searched the cupboard. “Do you require assistance?” 

She stretched as far as her toes would allow, then came back down in defeat. “Actually, yes. I can see my favorite mug, but it’s just out of reach. If I could juusstt....graze it with my fingers slightlyyy....” She tried again but to no avail. 

“I am four point five inches taller than you, Miss Grayson. Perhaps I would have more success.” She stepped aside and he swiftly grabbed the mug for her, setting it gently on the countertop as he raised an eyebrow. “Human need to deem inanimate objects as their _favorite_ is quite illogical.” 

She gave a scoff. “It’s not illogical, it’s called having a heart.” She began to boil some water on the stovetop for her tea. “Certain things hold sentimental value to us Humans. Like this mug,” she indicated the design on its front, “this design reminds me of swelled ocean waves, ready to crash onto the beach.” 

“Indeed.” He eyed the mug more intently. 

After the water began to slowly bubble, he spoke again. “I was delayed this evening because of a short meeting with the High Counsel. They communicated to me their decision to continue the linguistic program, with the condition of your class time being reduced to two classes per week with current security measures intact.” 

Her shoulders sagged in disbelief. “Two days?!” She didn’t even try to keep the alarm out of her voice. “They might as well have cancelled the project all together. What can I possibly accomplish with only two days per week? Down from six?” 

“I anticipated your disappointment. However, I am inclined to agree with this decision” Her eyes, widened with alarm, now turned to him in surprise. “You what?” 

He kept their gaze intact. “While I fully support your mission here, I must concur with the Counsel’s concern for your safety.” 

Amanda let out a humorless laugh. “Yes, _my_ safety. That’s what they really care about.” She turned away. “They want to protect their own and that’s it. They think my presence here is useless and couldn’t give a damn about my mission.” 

Sarek allowed a small, weighted exhale to escape. “I believe you are misunderstanding the intentions of the Counsel. Their intention is not to alienate you from the program, it is to protect all individuals involved in it while still proceeding with your teachings. Recent events have shown the unfortunate danger involved in this area.” 

Amanda sighed bitterly. “I can’t _believe_ you’re on their side. They’re trying to muscle me out! They want me to be the one to back away. Don’t you see?” She turned on her heel and faced him again. “If I leave, they can wash their hands of this entirely and receive absolutely no blame. They’ll say “the Earth woman felt threatened, she couldn’t stand the pressure, she decided to end it”. I can’t let them have control of --” The water on the stove had come to boil long ago, and now was frothing over the edges of the small pot. 

“Damn!” Amanda exclaimed and stepped over to deal with the mess. She lifted the pot off the stove and into the sink, then turned the stove off completely, standing before it in pensive frustration. 

Sarek let her stew in her thoughts patiently. Finally, a dejected exhale arose from her direction and her shoulders sagged. “I can’t believe there is such hatred,” she intoned, her voice fragile. “How a few bad apples are going to ruin it for everyone.” 

“I believe each civilization thinks they are the only ones to deal with animosity within its populace, but it is almost a guarantee with any species. The best that can be hoped for is one day, they will see the error in their ways and seek correction.” 

Amanda faced him again, and Sarek felt a deep part of himself startle at the look in her eyes. “Not everything is so calculated, Sarek! How about the person who tried to blow us up, and may damn well have taken a few kids with us? You think they were using logic?” She stopped when she realized her voice was reverberating off the walls. She was practically shouting. 

Sarek said nothing, and stood still in place beside the counter, letting her emotion roil all around him. Amanda suddenly realized how uncomfortable he must be and felt moisture begin to collect in her eyes. “I’m so sorry.” She tried to blink it away. “I thought I was going to _really_ do some good here,” she whispered bitterly, mostly to herself. She hated how her emotions were in full view, but she hadn’t any will to shut them back up. 

Sarek stood directly in front of her now, and she looked up at him. She could feel his very presence with every nerve ending in her body. Her breath hitched in her throat and she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, still trying to blink away angry tears. “This planet has done nothing but harm you,” he murmured, mere inches away now. “And you are still here. It will take more than this to eradicate your dream, Amanda.” 

She stopped breathing entirely. Hearing her name uttered by his voice sent shivers up her spine. She hadn’t any idea the power of this simple act, of him saying her name, until now. 

Suddenly she felt a strong, primal need arise from within her, a need for him to be as close to her as possible. Her emotions had ricocheted in five million directions over the last ten minutes, and she knew she wasn’t in the most stable state of mind at the moment, but she didn’t care. She knew Vulcan’s didn’t kiss and she was unsure if he would know what she was doing if she went for it. But as she looked up at him now, she knew she had to try; her emotions were too powerful to ignore. 

Amanda closed the remaining distance between them and covered his mouth with hers in a light, tentative kiss. Immediately, a rush of feelings made themselves known to her; lust, pleasure, and overwhelming amounts of affection she assumed were all coming from her. Sarek stood rooted in place, and she felt no response from him as her resolve quickly faded and she started to pull away. But he soon got over his surprise and responded just as quickly as he stepped closer to deepen the kiss. His arms encircled her lower back, pressing her to him as she laid her hands flat against his chest. She felt as if she were in a cartoon, half expecting fireworks to explode over their heads from the intensity she was feeling. 

Finally, they both pulled away for the necessity of breathing but stayed in their embrace. Amanda stared into his eyes and felt as if she could entrust her entire being in his hands. He stared back and she wondered what he was thinking. As if reading her mind, he responded. “This....this is something I have given thought to several times before.” He shocked her with his frankness. She didn’t have much time to let his words sink in as he bowed his head and kissed her again. This kiss was much different, urgent and hungry. She put both her hands behind his neck and poured all the passion she had stored within herself ever since she landed on Vulcan into the kiss. She felt him groan into her lips and he kissed her back even harder. 

Abruptly, the kiss ended as Sarek pulled away. Amanda sighed in objection and tried to regain her bearings as she opened her eyes, heavy-lidded with desire. 

“I apologize. I....cannot continue.” Sarek stood a fair distance away from her now, almost as if he thought any closer would be dangerous. His breath was ragged and Amanda placed a hand to her lips, already starting to swell. “I’m sorry,” she offered. “I pushed this on you, this is all my--” 

“No,” he interrupted her. “There is a logical reason standing in the way of continuing. I regret that I must go.” He looked down at the counter that now stood between them. “I will bid you a good evening.” His voice was quiet but in control. 

Amanda exhaled in frustration, feeling hurt and confused. “Alright.” She quickly stepped passed him into the entranceway, and he followed behind her. She grabbed his cloak off the hanger hastily and handed it to him, avoiding eye contact. 

He accepted it without a word and opened the door. Before he stepped through, he turned back and regarded her again. She stared back, confused and yearning to be in his embrace again, her eyes openly asking why he had to leave. Without another word, he turned and closed the door behind him. 

OOOOO 

Moonlight cascaded down the windowpanes of the den and lightly grazed the wood panels of the floor beneath, illuminating the workspace on the desk he had cleared in front of him. Sarek always regarded the moonlight as an adequate light source on nights like this, when he was unable to sleep and in search of mental distraction, usually found in one of the many books held in his impressive library. On this night however, he found the light exposed him in a way he did not care for. He rose from the desk and pulled the drapes closed, allowing only a sliver of moonlight to peek through the parting of the heavy material. Almost complete darkness. Much improved. 

Sarek was fighting an internal battle, one he feared he may lose. His incident with Amanda earlier that evening had provoked many thoughts he knew had already existed, but now were getting increasingly harder to ignore or reason away with any tried and true Vulcan logic. This human woman continued to push at the boundaries of his emotional and physical control, stretching them taught. His mental barrier was only so strong, and unexplainably, it held a weak spot, only for her. 

A rustling sound met his ears and he pried the drapes back open, letting the light flood back into the den. As he turned, his eyes caught sight of the elder Vulcan woman standing in the doorway that framed her silhouette. T’Amar. 

Sarek grappled to erase all traces of his inner turmoil and inclined his head towards her. “T’Amar. I was not expectant of your arrival.” 

“You have decided to ignore my request,” she began, dispensing with all pleasantries. “I must insist you decide on a future bride.” She advanced into the middle of the room. “You have been provided with data tapes on the most suitable matches for you within an adequate age category. Have you not narrowed down the candidates?” The moonlight now shone through to touch the angular planes of her face, making her look even more severe. 

Sarek met her stare. “I have not.” 

“Are you aware of the severity of the danger that is waiting for you in the near future? Are you not taking steps to ensure your health and safety? Your time approaches.” 

“I am indeed aware of the danger. I have simply not found an adequate match on the tapes you have provided me.” 

One graying eyebrow shot upwards in disbelief. “No suitable candidate? Not _one_? I am not able to understand the logic behind this indecision. Perhaps if you were to meet one of the women in person, you would have a different opinion...” 

“No.” He tried to strangle the protest as soon as it formed, but failed. Piercing eyes bore through his now, clearly provoked. “No?” 

He stood as tall and stoic as he ever had, but he felt her appraising him and knew that she could see every flaw, every crack in the foundation. She stood and regarded him for a full minute, silent. Then, she spoke. 

“You have already begun the bonding process.” It was not a question; it was a statement of fact. She stepped closer. “You have already chosen an intended one.” Sarek did not affirm nor deny her statement. He willed his mind to calm, willed the rippling water of his thoughts to smooth back out into stillness and equilibrium. 

T’Amar stepped directly in front of him and placed her fingertips at his temples. “Allow me to see your thoughts.” This was not a request. 

Vulcan mind-joining, or mind melding, was an ancient art practiced for centuries. As touch telepaths, this method allowed the participants to reach an entirely new level of thought awareness, to actually envision the other’s thoughts or memories. One must be highly skilled and practiced in the art in order to leave the things they explore as they had found them, however. Vulcan’s did not partake in a mind meld unless absolutely necessary. And Sarek knew he would not be able to leave this room without allowing this one to continue. 

“Very well.” He conceded. 

T’Amar gently affixed her fingertips onto the proper areas of his temples, applying light pressure. Eyes closing, she began to lower her mental shields and enter a deep level of concentration. If the entire room were to be set ablaze at that instant, neither of them would have noticed. Their minds joined briefly, and when she had gained the information she sought, her hands dropped and the connection was severed. Her eyes snapped open and she stepped back. 

“The _human_ woman?” Her eyes were slightly wide with shock. 

“I did not intend for this to be the outcome.” Sarek wanted to explain that he had not intentionally formed a connection with her, but he also couldn’t quite silence the annoyance that flashed though him at the elder’s tone towards Amanda. 

“This cannot go on. We must put a stop to this.” She gave him a hard look, her expression incased in severe finality. “You must go into hiding until this bond is broken.” 

“There is no bond-” 

“There is. I saw it. It is weak, but it is there. Given a few more weeks, it would almost be as strong as a marital bond. These ties, once solidified, are not easily broken. Much harm would come to the both of you if this continues.” She regarded him severely. “You remember the turmoil that was caused when your first bond was severed.” 

Sarek was caught off-guard. “I was unaware that Humans were able to reciprocate a bond in this way.” He couldn’t deny the that a part of himself was deeply intrigued by this revelation. 

T’Amar turned away and gazed out the window. “There is rare mention of this in the sacred texts. But it was thought theoretically possible. Now it is a certainty.” 

“I cannot leave at this time. I have many duties I must give attention to.” 

“Sarek.” Her voice was one of an admiral leading a fleet into battle. “You _will_ go into hiding, and you will not bring shame upon your house. You will uphold the sanctity of the Vulcan internal bond and not defile it with a human who holds no capacity to understand the danger to you if you do not find a Vulcan wife, someone who can withstand you during pon farr.” 

She slowly turned back to face him as she stated her words, her eyes never leaving his face. “You could crush her limbs with one hand. You could throw her against a wall and disable her. She does not have the strength to endure you at your worst, during your fever.” 

He envisioned himself in the throes of a biological mind-altering madness that only gripped male Vulcans every six to seven years, and knew what had to be done. For her safety. 


	15. Chapter 15

** CHAPTER 15 **

Vulcan curriculum did not call for breaks in its yearly schedule, but Amanda’s did. She was entitled to two weeks free of responsibility, and she had decided to use them now. Since the chokehold the Vulcan high counsel had around her teaching syllabus had tightened even more since the events of the cultural festival, she had found little joy in teaching her classes. This distressed her greatly but was not the main catalyst to her veil of downcast thoughts. 

Ever since her encounter with Sarek, her mind had been driving her up the wall. One minute, it was replaying their argument about the council's decision, reliving her anger and surprise that he had taken their side. The next minute all this was washed away, and the feel of his lips on hers, hungry and persistent, made her heart stand still. She would never forget the feeling of extreme euphoria, as if electricity had burned its way up her spine, the second he had laid his hands on her. But now, he was gone. It had been three weeks since their encounter and she had yet to lay eyes on him again. She knew he was probably trying his best to avoid her and she had expected that, but a part of her was unsettled. Something was amiss. Even if he truly was just avoiding her, she would still pass by him at the academy, or hear from him during her weekly performance review. But there was no sign of him. He had simply vanished. 

Tu’Pari had returned from her business off-world a few days prior, much to Amanda’s delight. She had filled her Vulcan roommate in on everything that had happened during her absence, but chose to leave out the kiss. As close as she felt to Tu’Pari, Amanda sensed that this would overstep her comfort level. She did however, mention the Ambassador’s mysterious absence. 

“Quite strange, yes,” Tu’Pari acknowledged as she took a small sip of tea, eyes on the horizon. They had chosen to eat their evening meal outside to take in the sunset. “I just found it so odd that after our...argument, he would vanish like that.” Amanda took a small pastry from the dish on the table between them, looking out onto the mountain peaks. 

“Is this the reason you chose to partake in your allotted vacation days at present?” 

Amanda blinked. “Well...no. I...I’ve been feeling burned out, really. And I thought I could use a break. Human’s normally take a couple weeks off every year to re-charge.” 

“Indeed.” Tu’Pari took another sip of tea. 

“Really, it has nothing to do with him. I just feel out of sorts and my mind is not as clear as usual.”

“I see.” She set down her cup and leveled her eyes on Amanda’s. “I believe I know where he is.” Amanda’s eyes widened in surprise. “You do?” 

Tu’Pari sat in silence for a moment, as if deciding whether or not to divulge this information, but finally came to a decision and  continued. “Vulcan’s have preserved several ancient retreats hidden deep in the desert, where one may go to clear their thoughts if something particularly weighted is on their mind. If it is affecting work performance, one may choose to use one of these retreats as a sanctuary for the mind to undergo heavy meditation until it has cleared.” 

“So, you believe he has gone to one of these retreats?” Amanda had never heard of these areas before, but it made sense. Vulcan’s prized mental clarity above all else, why not create a safe space made for this specific purpose? 

“Yes. I have no knowledge of the whereabouts to any of these retreats, since I have had no need of them.”  After taking another contemplative sip of her drink , she continued. “I believe he should be left alone there to his own devices.” Tu’Pari glanced at he r . “I do not think you should try to find him, Amanda.” Her tone was sincere but solid.

Amanda scoffed. “I wasn’t going to.” She paused. “I’m just concerned, is all.” Tu’Pari turned her eyes back to the sunset. “You Humans have not perfected the art of hiding your feelings.”

Amanda raised her eyebrows. “Oh really, and what makes you say that?” 

“I know you carry strong feelings for the Ambassador. And I suspect he has reciprocated this.” Amanda felt her stomach flip-flop.  _ She knows? _

“However,” Tu’Pari continued, “This does not mean anything will come of it. Vulcan’s are not meant to be paired with Humans. There are certain things you will not understand. You must leave everything to unfold on its own.” 

Amanda’s curiosity peaked. “If this is about bonding, I already have been told-”

“No, there is much more to it than that. But, enough of this for now.” Tu’Pari stood up and gathered her dishes. “I hope you will find something enjoyable to amuse yourself during your off-time. What is it you have in mind?” 

Amanda had no idea what she was going to spend her free time on. But, whatever she decided, she knew her mind would continue to circle around one particular Vulcan. 

OOOOO

She had tried everything. The museum, the walking trails (as much as she could stand in the intense heat), immersing herself in various literature, video-calling her parents. She had even made a special visit to Delvok, who was almost fully recovered from the injuries he had sustained during the blast. This delighted Amanda, but it was not enough to distract her from Sarek’s absence. Nothing was. 

She could never recall missing someone this much, or this  _ strongly.  _ It felt as if part of herself was missing, and that she was emotionally weakened. She knew this made her sound like a sappy love-struck puppy, but it was the truth. She felt physically unwell. Her two-week vacation was almost up, and still there was no sign of the Ambassador. Amanda had toyed with the thought of going to visit her parents and her sister on Earth but she just couldn’t bear to leave Vulcan, not when she didn’t know where he was. It was as if she were trying to scour the entire town, looking for any clue as to his whereabouts. 

Currently, she was standing in her room, leafing through old syllabus papers--she preferred to print them out on paper so she could easily make changes with a pen –while trying to organize her upcoming class schedule. In her haste, one of the sharp edges sliced through her wrist, leaving an angry red paper-cut down the center of her wrist.  _ Damn!  _ She winced in pain and was surprised at the amount of blood. Quickly grabbing a few hand towels from the guest bathroom, she compressed the cut  over the sink  to stop the bleeding.  _ Ouch. Why do papercuts hurt so much?  _

Suddenly, from a small corner in her mind, she heard a voice that was not her own. It was thin and hard to pick up on, but it was definitely there, and definitely male. “ _ Are you harmed, Amanda?” _

She dropped one of the hand towels into the sink , startled.  _ What was that? _

_ “Amanda, are you injured?”  _ The voice again. She tried her best to answer. “ _ What? _ “

_ “Are you hurt? What has happened to you?” _

Amanda closed her eyes and concentrated. “ _ Sarek? _ ” 

“ _ Yes. I am here _ .” 

A smile of huge relief spread across her face and she grasped the edge of the bathroom sink with both hands, a small trickle of blood still seeping from her cut and onto the white porcelain. She found it hard to communicate sentences, so she kept it brief. “ _ I am alright. Papercut. It stings. _ ” 

She felt relief of a different kind wash into her mind and she recognized it as coming from him. “ _ I am pleased you are alright. You must endeavor to be more careful _ .”

She laughed out loud. “ _ I promise. _ ” Then, after a few seconds, she pleaded to him. “ _ Please tell me where you are _ .” 

She felt a tinge of remorse along with his next thought. “ _ I cannot. You must continue on as usual _ .” And then she felt his presence disappear. She felt alone in her own mind, a concept she couldn’t even have imagined mere minutes ago. Her consciousness felt empty and hollow, cold and desolate. 

Amanda sank to the floor of the bathroom and sat on the cold stone, leaning her back against the wall. She ached to hear his voice again, but was hesitant to reach out and find him. He obviously didn’t want to be found. 


	16. Chapter 16

** CHAPTER 16 **

A few days crawled by slowly and uneventfully for Amanda. Being back at work had at least helped to distract her more than her vacation did. Her class sizes had slowly increased, but were not yet back to full capacity. All security measures were still intact, but she no longer noticed them. Her mind remained empty. 

One evening, she lay in bed staring up at the ceiling, trying to will herself to sleep. After a few hours passed without success, she decided to try something she had not allowed herself to try thus far. Closing her eyes, she evened her breathing pattern and cleared her consciousness, reaching it out like an outstretched hand fumbling around in the dark. “ _ Sarek, are you awake _ ?” She waited with baited breath, but received no response. Again, she cleared her mind of everything, erased every thought and memory she could, except her message to him. “ _ Sarek, are you awake _ ?” Nothing. 

She sighed out loud in frustration and whapped her hands against the mattress. She couldn’t tell if he wasn’t answering on purpose, or if she wasn’t doing it right. She didn’t even fully understand how all this was even possible. Was a bond an actual link between minds? Could he read her thoughts anytime he wanted? That was a scary notion. If that were true, she would have to dedicate the rest of her life to the art of controlling her thoughts to avoid complete and utter embarrassment. 

She willed herself to calm down, and reasoned that there was no use in worrying over those questions right now. She made herself as comfortable as possible, wrapping the blankets around her entire body until she felt secure. Trying again, she closed her eyes and thought of him. Thought of all the arguments and the riveting discussions they’d shared, and on the warmth she felt when she was with him. She felt a small tingle in her mind, like a slim beacon of light had switched on in the dark.  _ “Sarek, are you awake?” _

She was met with a flush of warmth. “ _ Yes, Amanda. You must try to sleep or you will tire early tomorrow _ .”

Amanda smiled to herself and hoped he could sense the warmth she was trying to send back. “I _ miss you. I want to see you. _ ” She felt a strong emotion she couldn’t quite put her finger on  as he answered her.  “ _ I regret that it must be this way. But I cannot return for some time. _ ” 

“ _ What is this? How can we communicate like this? _ ” The more she tried, the easier it was to send more complicated thoughts. Picturing his face helped too. 

She sensed his hesitancy in revealing this information. “ _ It is the beginnings of a bond. All Vulcan mates have this ability, it is how they stay in contact with each other over a large distance. _ ” 

Amanda pondered this. “ _ I had no idea Humans could do this, did you? _ ”

“ _ No Human has yet been known to possess this ability. You are...unique. _ ” She smiled inwardly at this. 

“ _ Now, you must sleep. And we must try not to reach out to each other in this way again. _ ” His tone was soft but she sensed his resolve. She was disappointed that he wanted to cut off the communication, but she tried to hide this from him. “ _ Sleep well, Sarek _ .”

She felt the rush of warmth once more. " _ Peace and long life. Ni’droi’ik nar-tor, t’hy’la _ ” And his presence was gone. 

Desperately, she tried to reach out into their bond again, and she sensed the slightest hint of it. But his side was far away, as if it was boarded up tight, inaccessible to her. 

Opening her eyes and sitting up in bed abruptly, Amanda felt her heart weigh heavy in her chest. That had sounded like a goodbye, almost a final farewell, that was meant to be absolute. And the final part, “ _ ni’droi’ik nar-tor",  _ had been an apology. But the last word,  _ t’hy’la _ , she didn’t recognize. 

Locating the PADD under her pillow, she quickly typed the word into the Vulcan dictionary she had received from the Vulcan online library when she had first arrived on the planet. While she had become quite fluent in the language during her time on Vulcan, there were still things she did not know. The definition revealed itself. “Close friendship, lover, eternal relationship.” Her eyes re-read the meaning repeatedly. 

_ He doesn’t want to do this, he doesn’t want to say goodbye!  _ Quickly snapping the bed covers away from her body, Amanda hopped off the bed and quietly opened the door to her closet. Trying not to overthink, she grabbed a sensible travel cloak and under-clothes, a small bag with a long shoulder strap, and sturdy walking shoes. She tied her hair back so it wouldn’t be in her eyes and changed into the cloak. Quietly making her way into the kitchen, she grabbed a few Vulcan fruits, a bag of nuts for protein and a large flask of fresh water, stuffing them into her shoulder bag. She didn’t know how long she would be away. In a flash of clarity, she decided to scribble a note to Tu’Pari, a few lines stating she was taking a journey and to please relay the message to the Learning Academy that she was under the weather. Lastly, she grabbed one of the lanterns sitting in the outer courtyard to help illuminate the darkness, and snuck through the front door, shutting it quietly behind her. 

She was now standing in front of her home in the moonlight, unable to fully comprehend what she was doing. Briefly, she thought of walking back the way she had come, unpacking the food, placing all her things back in the closet, and going back to sleep. But then she pictured Sarek’s face in her mind, heard the tone of his voice, and knew she had to find him. He had called her his _ t’hy’la. _ She was done running from her feelings and she couldn’t care less about convention. She loved him. 

Pulling up her travel hood around her face and pointing her lantern to her left, she started a brisk walk. She wasn’t sure where she was heading, she had absolutely no idea, in fact. If  Tu’Pari held no knowledge of the whereabouts to any meditation retreat, she doubted she would be able to track down any mention of them at the library or from another Vulcan. Vaguely, she remembered the way the hovercar took her when she was summoned to the sacred temple for her High Counsel meeting. She decided that was as good of a place as any to start her search. 

OOOOO

The night hours slowly rolled over into dawn, and the morning sun soon turned into scorching mid- afternoon. Sweat poured down her face, and she popped another sunscreen tablet into her mouth. She didn’t want to admit it, but she was quite lost. 

It had been tolerable in the darkness, where the temperature was considerably more comfortable. She had just kept walking, telling herself she was getting somewhere. But now, the intense sunlight shone light onto the truth. She was being irrational and unsafe, she berated herself. She had no idea the dangers that were lurking in this desert landscape, the types of creatures and poisonous foliage. She had brought no materials to build a crude shelter if a dust storm decided to descend upon her. She had finally now begun to realize the foolishness of her actions. But, if she tried to turn back, there was no guarantee she would know the way home. Endless stretches of orange soil spanned out all around her, and no recognizable landmarks were visible. She was all in, now. 

Tightening the grip on her hood as she pulled it low over her eyes, she kept her vision down on her feet, willing them to keep going. Her lantern had only lasted so long, and she decided to leave it behind rather than shoulder the extra weight. She tried to use all the tools at her disposal, and concentrated her mind on Sarek. She didn’t want to send him a message or communicate with him though the bond ;  that would cause him worry and it was her last resort only. She wanted to see if she could feel his presence, or get some type of clue regarding his whereabouts. She concentrated as much as she could, picturing herself flying above the desert, having a birds-eye view of everything below. A slight tug seemed to guide her forward, in the current direction of her travel. She hoped it was correct, for her sake. 

OOOOO

_ “To fight for that which you truly believe in is inherently human.” _

Sarek’s words echoed in her mind as she made her way through a particularly narrow stretch of rock, careful not to lose her footing. He had said this to her during the Turn of the Season celebration at his estate. Back when her feelings had been a complex web of uncertainty. Now, here she was again, fighting for something she truly believed in. Fighting to see him again. 

Dusk began to descend on Amanda, and she welcomed it with every fiber of her being. She had sweat so much that her underclothes  had become soaked and clung to her like a second skin. Perspiration dripped down her face and into her eyes, causing her to constantly swipe at her upper brow with her sleeve. She had climatized fairly well to the brutal Vulcan heat during her months living on the planet, and she had come a long way from that first walk into the city when she had needed a break on the collection of rocks with the Ambassador. But this was the longest outdoor exposure she had ever experienced thus far, and it was taking its toll. What she wouldn’t give for a sliver of cooling breeze. 

She rationed her water, only allowing herself small mouthfuls every hour or so. She had stopped and ate one of the large fruits she had brought along, which helped her momentarily. But now, she was again gripped with hunger, and the rusty-colored horizon outstretched before her left no clue to anything resembling a building, cave, or otherwise noteworthy part of the landscape. Her resolve was beginning to crumble.  _ I don’t even know what I’m looking for.  _

She stopped and took in another mouthful of water, while carefully making certain her mental barriers were fully intact, hoping Sarek wouldn’t sense the slowly ballooning fear in the pit of her stomach. She wanted to find him, to explain that she didn’t care what Vulcan custom said about Humans, she didn’t care that people wouldn’t approve. She came to this planet expecting to learn a great deal about culture and logic, and she had done so. But she also found a Vulcan that she felt tied to in body and soul. Someone who drove her mad and made her feel euphoric all at the same time. She briefly entertained the notion that she was in fact losing her mind, falling in love with an alien, someone so out of reach that it was almost laughable. But she also knew that in spite of that, all she wanted was to see him, hear his voice and tell him how she felt. Even if the journey there almost killed her. 

Hours slipped away and finally dusk had turned into another evening, and she felt her body start to cool ever so slightly. Her mind had been bouncing back and forth as small pinpricks of starlight poked holes in the night sky. She was torn between her feelings and a growing sense of guilt.  _ What right do I have to upturn his life like this? To ask him to turn his back on century-old tradition? _ She looked behind her and could see her footsteps in the sand stretch back as far as the darkness allowed her to see. Her face was tingling with heat and she could tell the skin would have a sunburn the next day.  _ Even if I do somehow find him, there’s no guarantee he’ll acknowledge that there’s anything between us. _ The moon hung bright and full, and Amanda was grateful for the light. She also felt, to her surprise, a small breeze whistling past her ears. She smiled to herself and stopped her walk briefly to enjoy it’s warm but soothing effect. She decided this would be a decent time for a break. After a mouthful of water and a small bite of fruit, she started to continue on. 

Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted two round orbs flash by her on her right a few yards away. She turned quickly and stopped in her tracks, silent, listening intently. The orbs had looked like....eyes. Animal eyes illuminated by the moon. Suddenly, to her left, she heard rustling in the thick, short collection of brambles a few feet away. Her pulse quickened. While she had read up on the various gems and plants that called Vulcan home, she had skipped out on learning about the wildlife. After standing still for what felt like eternity and hearing nothing but the wind, she cautiously continued on, senses still on full alert. 

A few more hours passed, and the steady breeze had turned into a strong wind. Amanda now wished to retract her pleading for this to happen mere hours earlier. The gusts kicked up a fine mist of dirt in her path, billowing through the lower part of her cloak. She raised up her hood again to shield her eyes from the grains of dust and hoped it would calm soon, trying to keep her mind off it by thinking of all the students in her class individually. She felt another pang of guilt.  _ I hope I’m back soon enough to teach them again.  _ For all the trials and tribulations, teaching her classes had been one of the major highlights of her life. 

Up ahead, a small shadow appeared on the horizon and her spirits lifted a bit.  _ Maybe there’s something there? _ Just then, a stronger gust of wind materialized right in front of her, toppling her hood back down around her neck. A thick mist of red dirt accompanied the gust, and she held out a hand to shield her eyes. Another gust, this time to her left. She started to walk faster as the dot on the horizon became blotted out by the dirt clouding the air . The gusts were feeling  much  more powerful now. 

Gradually, she felt the wind pick up  even more , and a deep howling started to whistle past her. She was running now, feeling foolish. _ I can’t outrun a windstorm. _ Again, the wind picked up, starting to bring in more dust and debris this time. It whirled around her feet as she kept running, but she felt like she was moving slower, trying to push past a wall of whipping wind. She gripped her hood with both hands, shielding her face as she looked down at her feet, still pushing to go forward.  Her mind brought her back to a time when she sat in her parent’s living room, reading up on Vulcan climate before her trip. A sentence she had read came back to her mind’s eye. “ _ Much like the climate of Earth, Vulcan’s weather patterns are known to change rapidly with little warning _ .  _ Although not a wet planet, windstorms are quite common _ .” 

She felt the wind whipping across her skin and her nose, stinging as it did so. She stopped running, but tried to walk as fast as she could. The wind continued to pick up speed, and she felt the dust in the air, getting thicker as it started to blot out the moonlight and her eyes were barely able to stay squinted. 

Amanda desperately tried to pick out a spot of salvation, a rock outcropping, a small tree, anything. But nothing presented itself, and the spot on the horizon she had been heading toward was not any closer. The wind rocked pasted her ears in a loud roar, almost bellowing in its strength. She grasped tight to her hood, unable to open her eyes at all now. The dust rocketed around her, completely engulfing her surroundings and the icy fingers of panic gripped her heart. She dropped to her knees, huddling her face down, trying not to breathe in the dust, gasping in fear. The wind thundered past her, around her, right through her. She felt the dust and dirt wedge into every inch of her exposed body, and she heard nothing but the storm. Her forehead went to her knees and her arms clutched around them. The wind roared and reeled and Amanda could go no further. 

_ Sarek........Sarek!....... _


	17. Chapter 17

**CHAPTER 17**

She coughed hard. Tiny grounds of dirt peppered her lips and she fought the impulse to run her tongue over them. Her entire body ached, and she felt her face tingle from windburn. _Where am I?_

Slowly, she let her eyes flutter open to take in her surroundings. The room was dark and she couldn’t make out anything, but she felt safe and warm, lying on what appeared to be a bed of some sort. Her hands ran over the soft mattress at her sides and her fingers felt the material of a long blanket covering her form. She couldn’t focus much on anything, and felt slightly confused and very exhausted. Fragments of memory started making their way to the forefront of her mind, and she closed her eyes again. The storm, the dirt, the panic enveloping her. Collapsing to the ground and calling out for him. Someone picking her up. And then....her mind was hazy. She tried to fight her exhaustion but eventually let herself drift off for some more much-needed sleep. 

When she woke again, dim flickers of light danced off the stone walls from a small fire being tended to across the room. She slowly lifted up her head and sat up slightly, letting her eyes adjust and soon gazed at the tall figure in front of the fire, his back turned as he added short pieces of wood to the hungry flames. 

“Sarek?” she half-whispered, her voice hoarse. She started coughing again and he was soon by her side with a tall flask of water which she gratefully accepted. After drinking her fill, she set the flask on the wooden bedside table and finally met his eyes. They said nothing, and a long silence stretched between them. She felt like she hadn’t seen him in years, but he was still exactly as she remembered. Standing tall with his hands at his sides, strong jaw, elegantly tipped ears, dark hair that curled at the edges ever so slightly. Her heart tightened in her chest. She searched his face for any sign of emotion at all, but found none. 

“You were caught in a spontaneous wind storm. I was able to locate you, and I proceeded to bring you to the closest available shelter.” His voice held no trace of sentiment. He turned away and stood before the fire again. 

“Wher---where is this place? Is this a retreat for meditation?” She tried not to let the hurt of his luke-warm attitude seep into her words. If he was surprised of her knowledge of retreat’s existence, he didn’t show it. “Yes. This dwelling is able to hold three Vulcan’s at any one time, however currently I am the lone occupant.” He dropped the subject, adding,” If you wish to attend to hygiene, there is a sufficient area down the hall. I will show you the way.” He regarded her carefully. “If you are rested.” 

Amanda felt groggy but otherwise fine, and nodded. She perked up at the opportunity to wash away the innumerable specks of dirt stuck to her every surface. It reminded her of the beaches of Earth- every visit inevitably invited a host of sand to spontaneously find its way into the house. 

Gingerly, she rolled out of bed, letting her bare feet touch the cold dirt floor. She followed the Ambassador through the doorway of the main room into a short, narrow hallway that led into another modest room. It felt as if they were in a cave, with low ceilings and dimly lit stone covering the walls. The only light came from slim lanterns adorning the hallway walls and a larger lantern on the floor of the small room they now entered. Sarek moved aside to let Amanda through. 

“There is a basin for bathing and clean linen in the lower drawers of the cabinet,” he directed. “Is this satisfactory?” 

She nodded. “Yes, lovely.” He took his leave without another word and slowly closed the door behind her. She stared at the door for a moment and then turned to take in the room. A washing basin sat in the middle filled with water, perfect for a bath. A few towels were neatly stacked on a chair sitting off to one side. She slipped off her outer cloak and peeled off her dirty underclothes, soaked in dirt and sweat. 

During her soak, she took the time to scrub away ninety nine percent of the dirt that had collected on her arms, legs, and in her hair, gradually feeling like a new woman. However, she kept re-playing her reunion with Sarek in her mind dejectedly. He certainly didn’t seem the Vulcan equivalent of excited to see her. But what did she expect? He was Vulcan, after all. The bond they had shared over the last few months had her thinking their relationship was deeper and more meaningful somehow. She sighed. Perhaps she had been wrong. 

But, he had found her. He had heard her call out for help. That had to mean something. 

After rinsing off, she climbed out and wrapped herself in a big, fresh towel. Stepping over to one side of the room, she opened up the cabinet in the corner. She didn’t feel like putting on her soiled clothes again, and was relieved to find a long, dark robe hanging neatly inside. After pulling it over her head, she realized it was made for someone much taller than herself. The bottom dragged on the ground, and she had to roll up the sleeves quite a bit, but it would do. 

After toweling her hair as dry as she could manage, she ran her fingers through it in a vain attempt to detangle it, pushing it over her shoulder and hoping it didn’t look too unruly. She was aware that she probably looked like she had been through the wringer, but there was no mirror around to be sure. Finally, she stepped back out into the hallway in her bare feet and slowly opened the door into the main room she had first awoken in. 

The Ambassador was adding a large amount of leafy greens into a small bowl in one corner of the room. She now saw it to be a tiny kitchenette area with a simple table and chair. He placed the bowl on the table and she felt her stomach growl almost painfully. 

“You must have nourishment,” he stated without embellishment. “I will leave you to rest. At sunrise, I will accompany you on the journey back to Shikahr.” His expression was indifferent, as still as stone. She remained silent. 

He went to walk past her without another word, but she caught his arm as he passed, her eyes filled with feeling. 

“So that’s it? You’re just going to leave?” Her hand stayed on his arm but he didn’t pull it away and stared back at her. 

“Unless there is something you require.” 

She bit the inside of her cheek. “No.” Her tone was terse. He gave a weighted exhale, her hand still on his arm. 

“Haven’t you missed me at all?” She strained to keep her voice in control and she bit back a sudden rush of tears. 

His expression remained neutral, except for a small uptick of one upswept eyebrow. “I regret the circumstances surrounding our separation of company, however, it was --and continues to be-- necessary.” 

“But I don’t understand. Why can’t you just come back?” 

“There are several reasons impeding my return. It is regrettable, but it is not avoidable.” Her hand slipped from his arm and he made his way to the doorway. 

“So, I am nothing to you?” Tears had started to track down her face. “I am not your _t’hy’la_?” Her voice was barely above a whisper and she was quivering from head to toe with frustration and pent-up emotion. Everything she had been through to find him, all the emotional turmoil she had dealt with the past few months, was starting to overcome her. 

Abruptly, Sarek stopped and whirled around to face her again, and she held her breath. He closed the space in between them in two powerful strides and grabbed her upper arms tightly. 

“You are the _utmost_ of importance,” he seethed in a tone that made her blood run cold. “Do you comprehend the danger you entered into, travelling alone? Are you aware of the _harm_ that could have befell you, the harm that would occur if I was not close enough to hear you?” His grip on her tightened, his voice held the same quality as when he shouted at the rouge Vulcan who had attacked her in what felt like forever ago. Her eyes were wide and she could form no words. It felt surreal. 

“You do not know what danger awaits if you were to pair with a Vulcan.” His dark eyes bore down into her very soul and she felt herself shiver. “I had to leave you before this bond strengthened. You must understand. I will not let another harm you, _least_ of all myself.” His nostrils flared and she could feel waves of distress through their bond. Her hands reached up to cup either side of his face and she could feel that he too, tremored with feeling. She wanted to reassure him with everything she had. “You could _never_ hurt me.” Her voice shook. “Never.” 

His lips met hers eagerly, and they locked together in a powerful embrace. Amanda laced her arms around the back of his neck, and he held her body close to him. She breathed him in and felt a multitude of things cascade over her all at once; joy, relief, passion, utter happiness. 

Blood rushed to her cheeks and they pulled away slightly, breathless. She ran her hands up over his broad shoulders and he hoisted her up briefly for the few steps it took to place her body flush up against the nearest wall. Then he was kissing her again, pushing her up against the stone, hungry to take her in with all of his senses. She sighed into the kiss and slowly unwound the leather strings of his outer cloak behind his neck. The cloak fell to the floor, and he was left with a white, long sleeved undershirt with an open collar, and dark slacks. She was reminded of dark-haired Arabian princes and her lust grew as she caressed the area of his exposed chest. 

Sarek ended the kiss and went to remove her robe as well, but he stopped, searching her eyes for approval. She kissed him in response and his fingers set to work, bringing the robe over her head and letting it slip to the floor. She now stood completely naked before him, not having wanted to put back on the dirty underclothes she had sweat through. The soft firelight illuminated the curves of her body warmly, and Sarek stopped to take in the sight with his own eyes. She felt her skin tingle under his gaze and he stepped closer, gathering her into his arms. “I must make sure you are warm.” He said this softly into her ear as he lifted her again, this time placing her gently on top of the bed she had woken up in before. She awed at his strength. 

He climbed on top of the bed himself and she giggled up at him, tugging him down to lay with her. He straddled her body between his legs and bowed his head down to meet her forehead, kissing her again, soft and tenderly this time. 

“I have proven a theory of mine to be quite correct,” he intoned to her as he ran kisses down her neck. She laughed. “Oh really? And what theory is that?” She moved his face so she could look at him. 

“The first day I met you on the boat in San Francisco. I hypothesized that you would become quite an important figure in my life.” 

Her eyes widened. “You remember that?” She was shocked and pleasantly surprised. She felt a warmness extend through their bond which she reciprocated whole-heartedly. 

“Most definitely.” 

Slowly, he brought up her right hand and touched it with his first two index fingers outstretched. “I need to show you something.” His voice was husky with desire and she felt goosebumps rise on her skin. She tilted her head slightly in wonderment, and copied his hand gesture, lowering all but her first two fingers. 

“This is the Vulcan equivalent of a Human kiss.” He gently touched her two fingers with his own, slowly stroking them together as he brought his head down to the base of her neck. She felt her goosebumps intensify. The touch was so intimate. She felt connected to him through her body, but a part of her mind associated with their bond was also eliciting a strong reaction. She felt closely linked to him, closer than she ever had. 

She reciprocated the finger touch, slowly stroking her fingers along his, then breaking the pattern and tracing the inside of his palm. She felt him respond favorably to this, and she could feel his breath hitch. “Is this correct?” she questioned innocently. 

“Indeed it is.” He kissed her neck up into her earlobe, and her hand began to trace his knuckles. He moaned into her skin and she slowly tugged off the dark slacks. The room was dark and she could see very little, but she was quickly realizing that up until this point, she had not given what they were about to do a second thought, which now she deeply regretted. Her mind held a slight moment of panic. _Do Vulcan’s have sex like Human’s do?_

As if sensing her thoughts, Sarek lifted up his upper body and met her eyes, attaining one last look of permission. She brought her hand up to the tip of his ear and slowly traced its outline, and he exhaled unevenly. He adjusted her position slightly and parted her legs as he slowly entered her, holding her body with his hands gently. 

She gave a sharp inhale but slowly relaxed, letting him slide into her fully. He held her there and she traced her hands up his back, pulling him back down to kiss her again. Slowly he began to thrust back and forth, and soon her moans started to echo through the small stone room. He began to move faster, and her fingers clutched into his back, her lips roaming over his as they took in every ounce of each other. Faster and she moved her mouth over his ear, breathing into it, kissing the outer edges. His movements became primal and urgent, until finally, they both gave loud gasps and with one last thrust, Sarek fell on top of her, breathing heavily with ecstasy. _T’hy’la_ _._


	18. Chapter 18

** CHAPTER 18 **

“This is beautiful!” 

Amanda stepped out into the outer courtyard of her temporary Vulcan home. Multiple dining tables had been set up within it, more than enough to hold the reception guests. Each table was covered in a soft, white cloth and shiny cutlery decorated the surface. Long sheer drapery was hung in sections overhead, creating a practical sun shade. In true Vulcan style, it was the epitome of polished simplicity. 

The wedding guests quietly mingled together, and the betrothed couple of Tu’Pari and S’Rell stood together in the middle of it all, slowly making their rounds and collecting well-wishes. Tu’Pari looked as elegant as ever, in long formal robes with intricate embroidery running up the sides of her body, her hair an artistic triumph in itself. The official marriage ceremony had taken place several hours before, and Amanda had felt honored to witness such an event. While short and to the point, the ceremony itself had felt very meaningful and absolute. She was endlessly delighted for her friend. 

She glanced up at Sarek’s form next her, clad in his formal robes, looking quite handsome. “There’s more people here than I expected , ”  she remarked.  He surveyed the crowd as they walked toward the newly betrothed couple. “Indeed. It is custom for the majority of the local community to attend events such as this.” 

He stopped a few feet away from  Tu’Pari and  S’Rell , both currently held in conversation. He turned his gaze back to her. “Do you wish to find some refreshment?” She was going to say that she would love a glass of water when a tall male Vulcan appeared before them, brandishing the Vulcan salute with his left hand. 

“Greetings, Ambassador. I trust the  Argon peace treaty we discussed is moving along smoothly?” 

Sarek turned to respond, matching the salute. “Quite successful,  T’sen .” Amanda was about to leave them to their conversation when Sarek continued. “This is  T’sai  Amanda Grayson. She is a highly talented linguist on assignment to the Vulcan Learning Academy and is one of my current colleagues.”  _ Highly talented? _ Amanda felt herself start to flush from the praise. 

_ I would not speak it if it were not the truth.  _ His voice echoed through their bond and she had to fight off a smile. 

“It is an honor to meet you, Miss Grayson. I have worked alongside the Ambassador for many years. It is not often one is given the opportunity to work with someone of his caliber.” 

She nodded her agreement. “I completely agree.”  _ I can speak the truth, too.  _ She felt him respond in a way akin to a human eyeroll. “I will leave you two for no w , I require nourishment. It was a pleasure meeting you, T’ sen .”He bowed his head slightly and fell into conversation with Sarek as Amanda stepped out of the courtyard and into the house, hoping for a brief relief from the sun. 

Unwrapping the long decorative scarf that covered her shoulders, she let it slip from her hand onto the kitchen counter and poured herself a glass of water. She let her mind drift to the events of a few weeks ago as the glass filled, when Sarek had escorted her back from the meditation retreat. They were met at her home by a worried  Tu’Pari and, to Amanda’s despair,  T’Amar . 

“You believed this Human was to be allowed into a sacred Vulcan temple, an area for the healing of the consciousness?” Every ounce of disapproval was clearly evident in the elder’s tone. 

Sarek and T’Amar held a long, tense conversation along this line of thought for quite sometime, and T’Amar didn’t so much as glance Amanda’s way until the very end. 

“I had come to inform you of the council's decision to re-instate you to your full course load, however,”  T’Amar’s eyes flicked towards Sarek. “It appears you were otherwise occupied.” 

Amanda wished a spontaneous windstorm would topple the house down on top of them all, sparing her from living through this moment. 

T’Amar continued. “Some information has come to light regarding the attack on the cultural festival. It seems several Vulcan radicals were at the root of this, more specifically a Vulcan with whom many of us were familiar with.” Amanda had not been able to find her voice until now. “Who?”

T’Amar’s icy stare turned her way. “ N’Veyan was found to be an accomplice to the bombing. He has since been stripped of his duties at the Learning Academy.” Amanda’s mind reeled at this revelation. Sure, he had seemed the most distant and unapproachable of the Vulcan’s she had met, but she never thought he’d be capable of something meant to hurt, or even kill,  innocent  people. 

T’Amar shifted and Amanda sensed it was her turn to hear an earful. “It seems that you share a special connection with the Ambassador, one unlike any other you have experienced on Earth. You feel bonded to him. Do I speak the truth?”  Amanda’s mind still full of new information, she was slow to respond. “Y-yes . ”

The elder’s strong gaze continued to drill into her. “Do you hold the intention of building a relationship with him, of entering into a sacred bond?” Amanda’s mouth opened slightly, but no words came to her, giving her the appearance of a puzzled fish. She chanced a quick glance over to Sarek and she saw his posture tense ever so slightly. “You do not have to answer--”

“Miss Grayson,” T’Amar interrupted him. “Respond to the question.” 

She didn’t know what to say or how to say it. But she knew her intentions, however scary it felt voicing them in this moment in front of everyone. She realized T’Amar was not about to let this drop until her question was answered. Amanda met her eyes. “I do.”

The elder nodded curtly and slowly rose to her feet, turning to face Sarek. “You know what you must tell her. Do not delay.” 

Tu’Pari had then escorted  the elder out to the hovercar that was patiently waiting outside as Amanda stood with Sarek  alone  in the kitchen. “I’m ..... sorry, if what I said made you uncomfortable,” she ventured.

“No need to apologize, for it was the truth.” He stood with his hands behind his back, staring down at her intently. 

She was trying to craft a response to this when he continued. “As for what information T’Amar was wishing me to divulge to you...” he paused and Amanda sensed the gravity of the situation. “After hearing it, this information may cause you to re-consider your sentiment.” She highly doubted anything he could possibly tell her would cause her to revoke her love so hastily, but she allowed him to explain. 

“What I am about to intone is something of which every male Vulcan  experiences after full maturity...it is a biological certainty.” His eyes looked out onto the view of the mountains in the distance, careful to avoid her own.  He was silent for a moment, briefly closing his eyes, then opening them again. She could sense how painful it was for him to say what he was about to tell her. 

“Approximately every seven Vulcan years, a male will go through a “mating cycle”,  _ ponn _ __ _ farr _ . It is a time of increased sexual need and heightened frustration, anger, and a total departure from logic itself. It is not spoken of, but it is understood and planned for in every Vulcan society. ” He paused to let this sink in. “ Once one enters  ponn farr , they are not freed from it until their needs have been met by their mate and the fever has passed.” He glanced back at her quickly, assessing her reaction. 

Amanda was surprised at this knowledge, but not shocked. A society that held back all impulses of emotion was bound to have a “flaw” like this. It sounded like nature’s way of balancing out their way of life, as best it could. But she couldn’t deny it made her slightly  nervous.

“Okay ,” she said. “I had no idea this happened ....but , it doesn’t change my mind...”

Sarek stared at her directly now. “Amanda, there is more to this.  Ponn farr is referred to as the “fever of the flesh.” This is because it is, in a sense, a fever. Once afflicted, the Vulcan is not himself. He is not coherent; he is savage and brutal, a slave to his desire. His mate must be strong enough to withstand him and to keep him contained and safe. Their bond must be strong so she may comfort him and stop him from causing her harm as well.” He stopped and gave a slight exhale. “It is also quite deadly. If the Vulcan’s need for their mate is not satisfied quickly, the male Vulcan faces a high risk of death from the delirium.” 

This fact did indeed shock Amanda and she wasn’t able to hide her expression this time. “Death?”

“Yes. This is why two mates must be certain of their bond. This is why they are cultivated during childhood. ” He looked away , as if steeling himself . “If this knowledge has changed your view of certain matters, you are free to change them.” 

“No, of course not!” she  blurted out, shocked he would think such a thing . “I’m.....definitely surprised but, I’m not going to desert you over something you have no control over. Something so important.” She reached out and lightly touched his arm.

“I cannot let you be a part of something so dangerous.” 

“But you can. I’m _ choosing _ this.” She stepped closer. “Like you said, if the bond is strong, things can remain in control. I feel the connection we have. I trust you.” She knew that he had not spoken his thoughts about her being his mate, if he even wanted that to be the case. But she had to put her feelings on the matter out in the open. She tried to send comfort through their bond. “I would be here to help you if you wanted me.” 

Sarek looked down at her and she could see his expression soften ever so slightly. “I cannot hurt you.” 

“You won’t.” She was about to try and convince him again when Tu’Pari re-entered the house. “Well, Miss Grayson,” she said as she closed the door behind her and Amanda quickly stepped away from the Ambassador. “I’m pleased to see you have returned. I hope this journey of yours was a success.” She eyed her and the Ambassador with a knowing glance, one eyebrow slightly raised. 

Amanda afforded her a small smile. “Indeed, it was.” 

The feeling of cold water running down her hand shook her out of her revere. She looked down at the sink, the glass she had been filling now completely overflowing. She turned off the tap and took a long drink, draining most of the liquid in one shot. She decided to head back outside to the front of the home, where there would be no guests to disturb her. Even on a day of celebration such as this one, she felt she was not in a mood to celebrate. 

OOOOO

As the wedding reception wore on, the sun was beginning to hang heavy in the sky, and long shadows stretched on before her as she stood a handful of feet in front of the house, arms crossed. She closed her eyes and took in the stillness. T’Amar had, begrudgingly, agreed to keep her on for the remainder of the linguist project. She had two more months left, and she was starting to think of what her life would be like after it all came to a close. Despite the bumps in the road, she viewed the project as a success. Her students had improved leaps and bounds since her arrival to the planet, and ever since the announcement of who had been at the root of the bombings, her class sizes had grown to full capacity once again. It wasn’t just that her teachings had served to help her students, the students had impacted her positively as well. It had been hard to adjust to an emotionless society, but not impossible. She had learned so much about this planet and its people, it no longer felt like a strange, foreign world. She would be devastated to leave it. 

Footsteps behind her made her open her eyes, and she turned to see Sarek walking up from the side of the house to meet her. “Are you unwell?” His face showed a hint of concern as he stood beside her. She shook her head. “No, I’m perfectly fine. I just wanted to get away from it all for a moment.” 

He inclined his head. “Even sociable humans are known to require quiet surroundings from time to time.” 

They stood together in silence for a moment, both gazing up at the sky as the sun slowly continued to sink. “I was just thinking,” she broke the amicable silence. “About how sad I will be to leave this place in a few months.”

“I see.” He stood rooted in place beside her, squinting slightly, his hair swaying in the light breeze that rolled passed them. “You are sad to leave behind all the accomplishments you have made?”

“Well, yes. But the planet itself, more-so. I love the culture and the people. It feels like my home away from home.” She gave a quick side-ways glance toward him. “And to leave the people I care about.”

“Indeed.” A few moments passed, then he turned towards her and revealed a small, flat box covered in sturdy covering paper that he had been keeping in a pocket of his formal robes. “I have been meaning to present this to you.”

Her eyes widened in wonderment. “What? What is it?”

“I believe if you open it, you will find your answer.” She rolled her eyes and took the package from him. 

“I didn’t know Vulcan’s gave presents.” She unwrapped the box and opened its top cover, revealing a long necklace with multi-colored blue and green gems, all held together with thick, braided thread. An exact match to the bracelet she had purchased on one of their  week - night walks together so long ago. 

“I can’t believe it,” she breathed. “It’s the necklace! I had meant to go back one day and get it.” She withdrew it carefully from its box and let it hang from her fingers delicately, letting its gems sparkle in the sun. 

“I purchased it soon after you had acknowledged to me how the patterns reminded you of Earth.” He stood there with his hands at his sides, almost insecure it seemed. “It was only logical that you must have a completed set.” 

“You didn’t have to do that.” She put the necklace carefully back in its box and gave him a dazzling smile, amazed that he would do this for her. 

“A Vulcan is known to be extremely knowledgeable, masters of mathematics and physics. However, they are not known to excel at voicing their..fondness..of certain individuals.” His gaze locked on the dirt in front of him and Amanda sensed he was trying to articulate something of great magnitude but was failing at finding the words to do it. 

“Well,” she uttered as she stepped close and slipped one of her hands into his own. “Humans are known to be experts at expressing certain emotions that others cannot.” She slowly stood up on her toes and brushed her lips to his softly and they shared a tender kiss. 

“This is...very fortunate,” he whispered as they pulled away. “My  k’diwa .”  _ My beloved _ .

THE END 

_ A/N:  _ _ I hope you enjoyed! I may write a sequel if there is enough interest (I’m thinking something about married life and the things leading up to it).  _ _ Thank you for reading.  _


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